Meanwhile, Christina and Amanda are doing some boozing and bonding in The Secret Love Dungeon. Amanda, Muppet-Janice-like in her delivery, finishes a story with, "And I never told anybody this, but his name was Bill Cosby." Girl, I do not want to hear anything more about what that man did with his pudding pop. Amanda says that they've been talking a lot about her, which has been fun. Christina guesses that Amanda wants to hear one of her secrets, and Amanda coos, "You wanna kiss me, don't you?" Christina does not. However, she tells Amanda that she has a husband back in Scotland. This makes her ten percent more interesting to Amanda. Christina says that he's an insurance auditor, and Amanda adjusts it to five percent. Christina says that it was less than that, and the only time things got interesting were when he'd come home drunk and throw the furniture around. So one morning she got up, made Stuart his breakfast, and went off to the airport. To this day, he has no idea where she is. Well, he'll be relieved that she didn't show up two years later as Christopher.
Amanda notes that there's more to Christina than her accent, then says that she can kiss her now. Christina yells that Amanda is all about sex, and doesn't have one secret about anything else. But Amanda does have one: Fey Sommers was a family friend, which is how she got her job at Mode. Amanda's dad handled Fey's money, and asked her to hook Amanda up after her acting career fizzled. This gave birth to lifetime receptionist Amanda Tannen. Who is about to become "Lifetime Movie Receptionist Amanda Tannen." Both women take swigs from their respective wine bottles and are saddened to discover they're empty. In looking for more booze, Christina stumbles into a table and knocks off the tablecloth to reveal a safe. A locked safe within A Secret Love Dungeon? Now that is filled with promise.
And meanwhile -- oh, I don't even want to tell you what happens next. But I have no choice. I knew the perils of recapping before I took this job, but never did I think I would be so tested. Sigh. Santos walks into a convenience store to get a little gift of some sort for Justin. He asks for teeth whitening strips, but the man behind the counter says they're all out, and that he should go. Santos is a little slow on the uptake, until the man motions with his eyes toward the screen from the security camera. There he sees a man in a mask with a gun. Before Santos can do anything, the masked man rises from behind the counter, points the gun at Santos, and says, "Don't move." And with this harbinger of tragedy to come, we head to commercials.