Ugly Betty

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East Side Story

Meanwhile, Alexis is on the phone in her office, asking the thug she paid to off Bradford when he's going to take care of things. She says that the waiting is freaking her out. Also freaking her out might be the fact that she paid a dude to kill her father. Just a theory. The thug says that it will happen when it happens, the less she knows the better, and she'd better not be stupid enough to call him again. That's the thing about thugs -- they have no manners. Betty comes in asking if Alexis heard the news, and Alexis immediately asks if something happened to her father. But, in fact, Betty is talking about how "Daniel" "saved" "a" "Girl Scout." Alexis, of course, being smarter than Daniel, realizes that it's all bull. Betty says that she knows things have been rough between Alexis and Daniel, but deep down, Daniel is a really good guy. Alexis wryly says that sometimes she does forget that, and suggests that they hold a press conference to celebrate his heroic efforts. Betty says that she's on it and Alexis smiles. It should be noted that her shirt approximates the color of Daniel's tie. See, they're not so different after all!

Cut to Amanda slinking through the closet Mission Impossible-style. She works her way over to the hook that reveals The Secret Love Dungeon, then enters and caws for Marc. I must say that The Secret Love Dungeon is HUGE, and quite impressive. He asks what took so long, and she says she had to wait for Christina to go to the bathroom. She adds that Christina retains water like a two-humped camel. See, veteran drinkers know that you don't break the seal. Marc says that speaking of humps, he's figured out what Fey used the secret room for, and shows Amanda some bondage gear set up on a mannequin. They both throw up a little at the thought of Fey and Bradford utilizing this gear, and Marc says, "Now every time I look at the old man I'm going to picture him trussed up like a Christmas goose with a ball gag in his mouth." Thank goodness I don't eat goose. Marc and Amanda agree not to tell anyone about TSLD, except for the occasional delivery guy they can lure in there to open up his packages. Tee! Amanda calls Marc a bad boy and whips him in the butt. He asks for it again and again, until she says, "Okay, this is getting creepy, even for us."

Back in her office, Alexis is railing to Nick that her pathetic loser of a brother stole her story. Turns out when she was fourteen, she rescued a kid from drowning in Central Park. How does she keep that figure with all the cookies? Alexis doesn't know how Daniel got the shiner, but something tells her that he won't want it in the press. You know, maybe if she shared a Tagalong once in a while, there would be a little more harmony in the family.

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Ugly Betty

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