Ugly Betty

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East Side Story

Cut to Miss Wilhelmina Slater, who's also planning a wedding. She tells Marc she wants St. Patrick's Cathedral and the Harlem Boys Choir releasing doves. No! The force of evil is so great within her that who knows what will happen to those poor doves' heads. We go back and forth between the two brides a few times, ending with Santos saying to Hilda, "I love you," and Wilhelmina saying to the mirror, "I love me." When we finally settle on Wili, Marc tries to butter her up before telling her that they have a teeny-tiny Cindy-Crawford-mole-sized problem. Turns out, St. Patrick's Cathedral is booked on June 16. As this is the only date that works for both Wili and Bradford, Wili tells Marc to bump the other bride. But, horror or horrors, the other bride is actually Fabia. Not only did she book St. Patrick's, but Elton John will perform at the ceremony. He's rewritten "Candle in the Wind" for her. Wili is candle in the chagrined, as Elton is also rewriting the song for her. Marc says, "Ugh. Give that queen $20 and she'll rewrite it for anybody." It's funny because it's true. Wili tells Marc to get Fabia there ASAP, because Wedding Summit '07 -- Dual To The Death -- is on.

Meanwhile, Betty tells Daniel she has someone in his office she wants him to meet. Yeah, that worked out really well last time when the sex therapist she arranged for him to meet turned him into a tweaked-out drug addict. Sometimes, Betty should just stay at her desk and mind her business. They open the door to see a press conference, complete with a whole troop of Girl Scouts. Daniel, with an air of mild panic, says he doesn't know what to say. Alexis enters and says he might tell everyone the exact details of his rescue. Daniel helpfully says that there was a drowning Girl Scout, and he saved her. Alexis asks what time of day, and Daniel says it was morning. Alexis asks if she wouldn't be in school. Daniel says maybe she was skipping. Alexis asks if Girl Scouts skip school, and the troop enthusiastically says, "Noooooooooooo!" Alexis asks how Daniel hit his head, and he says he slipped on some rocks coming out of the lake. Betty says she thought he hit his head diving in. Alexis says she thinks he's lying, and asks the troop if it's good to lie. You would think at least one of the New York City Girl Scouts would say, "Bitch, I'd lie like a rug if it would shut your silicone ass up." But that is not to be, and Daniel is once again publicly humiliated.

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Ugly Betty




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