Ugly Betty

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Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
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'Til We Have Prada

Tony shows up, throwing them both into a total tizz with his hotness, and both Mark and Amanda crawl all over each other claiming to be Betty Suarez. He's confused and impatient, and asks them to just page her and stop being total weirdos. Neither of those things are ever going to happen. He's very adorable and nice even as they crawl all over him and touch his muscles and are totally scary; Betty finally comes out with the signed Player issue. Mark pretends to be totally fascinated and, game, Tony asks if he saw that particular Superbowl. "If I say yes, will you take your shirt off?" Cliff shows up and he and Tony have a cute-off. Cliff wins by the precise amount of: infinity.

Betty gasps when she turns around to find Amanda pretty much sharing her space, and Amanda says she needs the info on Coach Tony ... Whose phone she totally pickpocketed! Awesome. "I was in a trance, I barely remember what happened!" She admits to having her "tingle" "dulled" by the pictures of Tony kissing some slutty stewardess. Betty's awesome: "My sister is not a stewardess," she automatically says, letting the "slutty" part slide, until she sees the slut in question, and it's not Hilda after all.

Betty immediately calls Hilda to her apartment for dinner, and has the obligatory phone call about the debut party that's just long enough for Hilda to bitch about being ignored. "I heard Tony was sexually harassed by your coworkers," she laughs, and Betty admits that it happens a lot at Mode. Hell, it's gotta happen to Tony five or six times a day either way. Betty reluctantly hands over the phone, calling attention to the stewardess pictures in her sad way. To Hilda's credit, she comes clean about Tony's wife immediately, feeling gross about it. Betty does not react well, but still reacts more kindly and sympathetically than Hilda would if their positions were reversed, which they never would be. Hilda admits she feels gross about it, but can't leave him, because she's in love with him. Also, he is Eddie Cibrian. Listen, if somebody could get shot in the face over Joey Buttafuoco?

First day of school, and Daniel's all full of advice, from the commonplace ("listen to your teacher") to the Meade specific (Ethical Slut rules), as though they'll never see each other again. He really sells the whole anxious-dad thing, to the point where DJ defuses him by remarking that his French is, quest ce que c'est, "sucky." Claire watches Daniel fuss and be all in love, and tells him he's a natural father. Daniel worries that he's being selfish, wanting to keep the kid, and Claire reminds him that loving the grandparents doesn't mean he won't want to stay in America, but that she's not going to tell Daniel what to do. Daniel admits that his problem -- and it's the same problem as always, so props to him for noticing -- is that he's afraid to ask the question because of the answer he might get. Claire just picks at his lint and smiles.

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Ugly Betty

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