Ugly Betty

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Giving Up The Ghost

Previously: The Meade/Slater wedding was all full of hijinx, and the two never got to their "I do"s. Daniel fired Betty after learning that she kept her knowledge of Wili's bodyguard affair secret, but it was Bradford who, on his deathbed, implored Betty to take care of Daniel. And you know how seriously people take deathbed requests these days.

We begin with Betty having a midnight snack of empanadas. She opens her fridge to get more milk, and finds Bradford's head on a platter behind a gallon jug. She is frightened, though if you ask me, he's the one who should get a scare upon seeing her double bang-curlers. Betty shuts the door and tells herself that if you eat empanadas at 2 AM, you pretty much deserve to see a ghost. I don't even want to know what you'd see if you had leftover Taco Bell chalupas. Betty opens the door again, and finds the fridge Bradford-free. This is because now he's standing right behind her. Bradford tells Betty that he's not a ghost; he's a subconscious manifestation of her guilt. Betty says that she's not guilty, and Bradford notes that she promised him on his deathbed that she'd take care of Daniel, and then didn't take her job back. Oooh, dead guy: 1. Betty says that she does feel a little guilty, but can't go back to Mode, because it changed her too much. She asks Bradford to disappear so that she can go to bed, and he asks, "By 'bed,' you mean 'finish these empanadas'?" Oooh, dead guy: 2.5. Bradford is so much more amusing as a subconscious manifestation of Betty's guilt than he ever was in life!

The next morning, it's tree decorating time! Or maybe it isn't. Since it's the day of Bradford's funeral, Hilda thought they could wait, but Betty says that they have to do the tree because it was their mom's tradition. Hilda asks Betty if she's going to go back to work at Mode. Betty says that she's been thinking about their mom a lot lately, and doesn't think that she'd be happy with the person Betty was becoming. Hilda quite practically points out that she'd be happier if Betty quit after she got her Christmas bonus. Or, one might conjecture, if Hilda actually had any clients at her back porch beauty salon.

And then, it's funeral time! Daniel is in awe of the giant family plot, which apparently was purchased when he was at boarding school. Christina -- who is wearing a kick-ass cloche hat with giant buttons on the side -- asks Betty if they're getting paid for the day. She notes that Henry weaseled out of attending the funeral, and Betty explains that he's at the office: the new issue is closing, and all of the accounts have to be closed by the end of the day. Sheila walks by with Amanda hot on her heels, asking if she'll be in line to take over Meade Publications now that Bradford's gone. Sheila is sure that Amanda's two years as a receptionist qualify her to run the whole company. By some standards, that qualifies you to be President of the United States. Amanda notices a police car. Turns out its occupant is Claire, in chains and an orange jumpsuit. She waddles her way over to Daniel and Alexis. Hey, at least she didn't have to pick up the trash on the outskirts of the cemetery.

Daniel delivers the eulogy, and ends by saying that he and Alexis will make sure that Bradford's legacy lives on. The legacy of being a huge dickwad most of the time? What? I'm just saying. Daniel opens up the floor to anyone who might have something to say, and Betty -- despite Christina's protestations and Amanda's eye-rolls -- steps up. She says that Bradford loved his family and wasn't just the head of a company; he was also a father and a husband. From way in the back, we hear a voice saying, "He was almost my husband." Yes, it's funeral-crashing Wili, trailed by Marc who loudly whispers, "What is she doing here? Who is she wearing? I can't believe she came!" Daniel storms up to Wili, who says she's just there to add a few words, since no one knew or loved Bradford the way she did. She greets Claire: "Decided not to wear black, I see." Claire, having learned all kinds of tricks in the pokey, sticks out a foot, and Wili flies right into the empty grave. Claire makes a motion to terminate Wilhelmina Slater as creative director of Mode effective immediately. Both Alexis and Daniel are in agreement, and with a swift "Rest in peace, bitch" on Claire's part, we're out.

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Ugly Betty

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