Ugly Betty

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Boned By The Lohan
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Yeah, so the recaplet? I'm gonna plead the Lohan on that one. "Exhaustion"! The silent killer! Now let's do this in a linear, non-eyelid/toothpick-scenario fashion. It's all mortar fire and guns and stuff for a second, or maybe There Will Be Blood, but then you realize it's a photo shoot for Mode. Daniel runs around practicing stylism on them, and ends up plopping a helmet on Betty's head and putting a bayonet in her hands. It's like the cutest outfit she's ever worn. Betty takes Claire aside and worries at her about how Daniel's not processing the DJ thing and how he lost his son, who is not his son, to his brother who is now his sister. Claire points out that on the spectrum of Meade family vices, workaholism is a lot better than pushing pregnant ladies down stairs. Then Betty spots a puppy, and stops caring about Daniel, because a big part of Betty's wounded brain is just hugs and puppies and popsicles, all the time.

Wilhelmina has brought lots of puppies and little kids for "Puppy Love," which conflicts with the shoot that they're already doing, "Love Is A Battlefield." Also, PETA can kiss her ass because it's not real Dalmatian she's wearing, silly: it's rare albino leopard. Betty has been running ragged trying to do everything Daniel's way, plus Wili's way, and we watch that play out. Daniel's like, "Kill the puppies!" And Wili screams, "Daniel Meade KILLS PUPPIES!" and Daniel screams about how she doesn't support our troops. Then they yell at each other about how they are both the Editor-in-Chief and it's like all of a sudden they're having anger and passion fights or something dumb. Claire is kind of horrified by the way the two shoots have blended together: little kids in gas masks, soldiers kissing puppies, bored models standing around. It's actually totally awesome, but this show doesn't understand awesome anymore.

Kimmie is at Betty's desk when she gets back, and drops the fact I somehow missed which is that the burger place she was working at with Ignacio in Queens was called Flushing Burger. That's amazing. She explains to Betty in a somewhat humorous monologue that Betty's philosophy of believing in yourself and showing initiative and adaptability doesn't work if you are, like Kimmie, a total loser. She describes post-high school life as a slide into suck, and wonders if people will ever applaud again when she walks in the room. She doesn't really hit any jokes we didn't hit from last time -- the boyfriend she hates is dating her ex-stepsister, her hilarious Lyme disease might be flaring up -- but it's pretty funny that she is coming to Betty with this information, because not even Betty knows how bad her trip around the US has turned her into a dipshit. Daniel walks in at the wrong time and Kimmie fast-talks her way into a job at Mode.

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Ugly Betty

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