Meanwhile, back at the editorial meeting, Sheila announces that they've lost Winona Ryder as their cover model. Alexis starts talking about how this is the perfect time to put an underdog/comeback type celeb on the cover. Who does she have in mind, you may ask? The big, sexy, outrageous...Anna Nicole Smith. Awww. Though, I have to say, I think if any story would break through the haze of a coma, it would be the tragic demise of Anna Nicole. And maybe the whole thing with Ellen and Portia's dog. Daniel suggests that Alexis take a little more time off.
Betty packs Daniel off to see Luke Carnes at Atlantic Attire, and lets us in on Daniel's secret love of pedicures. Real men don't feel the need to hide the attention paid to their feet, is what I always like to say. Daniel asks Betty to read a crop of female empowerment stories, noting that the "bear one" is pretty good. If hibernating for the winter is the fourth wave of feminism, I'll take it. Daniel almost forgets to give Betty feedback on the piece for her writing class, but finally says that it's great and gives her a big thumbs-up. This, Betty explains to Christina, means that he hated it. The fake smile and thumbs-up is vintage Daniel lying behavior, as evidenced by a mini-montage. Christina totally makes fun of how dumb Daniel is, which is how we know that Christina is secretly the most sensible person in all the show, but Betty says that Daniel is the first person who ever believed in her. If he doesn't like the story, who will? Speaking of the story, it's about how Betty stayed home alone on her prom night. Man, she really needs to get over that. Betty notes that the professor wants grim, and curses her own sweetness.
Cut to the class, where Victor Garber tears yet another student a new one as he regrets blowing the Pulitzer money at the Indian casino. It's true that when you hear the line, "Meet me at Foxwoods," the speaker is personal doom. Betty, a.k.a. Crappy, a.k.a. Clappy, is up next. She, of course, drops her bag at the podium and hurriedly grabs a mess of papers. She begins reading the first line: "When I saw my blood dripping off the bear's teeth..." And then she realizes that, while her prom night was eventful, it really didn't involve bears. Yes, she accidentally started reading the female empowerment article du jour. When Victor Garber shows interest, however, Betty can't bear to switch to the peppier yet less maul-worthy, "Queen of My Own Prom." And thus, the plagiarism begins. Commercials.