Ugly Betty

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Grin And Bear It

When we return, Henry tries to teach Justin Algebra with fashion-related flashcards. So cute! Justin gives no thanks, only bad attitude. Henry asks Ignacio if Betty will be home soon, and Ignacio gives him the brush-off, telling him that he's there for Justin and to keep it about that. Oh, yeah, Papi's back with a vengeance.

Meanwhile, back in the writing class, Betty learns that she survived her bear attack because she's pregnant. Ha! Finally something she can use to trump Charlie. Though what if the father is...the bear? The class rises to its feet, and Victor Garber gives her high praise and wishes bear attacks upon the rest of the class. He tells them that their assignment for the next week is to live dangerously, and asks Betty if he can see the ear that was almost torn off. That unruly mop on top of her head comes in handy sometimes, doesn't it? I have three words of advice for Betty: drop the class. I'm not even going to get into the weird creepy Poquito the Talking Bear segment. Suffice it to say that Betty feels awfully guilty.

Meanwhile, "William" calls "Marcy" to attend to her as she goes to the executive suite to be courted by the other magazines of Meade Publications. Needless to say, neither adrenaline-fueled adventure nor food nor Maxim-style boob display appeals to her, and she laments to Marc the fact that they now have no home. Wili says that she was merely a simple girl with an evil plan, and all she wanted to do was run a fashion magazine. But Meade only has one fashion magazine, and it will never be hers. Marc screams "Doooooom" and falls on the floor. I do that at least once a day at work, but there's usually no one around to see me.

When we return to Betty, she's still feeling guilty. She can't even look at a stuffed animal, which is I'm sure just how Larry Craig is feeling right now. Speaking of, did you guys see when Matt Lauer asked him if he was bisexual? I have never felt grodier in my life. But I digress. Betty gets a call from Victor Garber, who says that he needs to see her at 2:00. It's about her essay. Doooooom! And commercials.

When we return, Daniel is meeting with James Van Der Beek! Beek from the Creek! Otherwise known as the man who started it all. I have the desire to give a giant "Mwah ha ha!" right now, but I don't know if Wing and Sars and Glark would appreciate it. ["There's never a wrong time for that, girl!" -- Wing Chun] In any case, Van Der Beek is Luke from Atlantic Attire, and he and Daniel have just almost closed a big advertising deal. They even bump fists, which I guess is like the straight-man version of bumping...other things. Luke says that he heard Alexis is back, and then tells Daniel that he doesn't know if his company should be associated with a magazine run by a cross-dresser. Hey, you jerk! She's a TRANNY. Get it straight, Strom Thurmond. Daniel can't believe that Luke wants him to fire his own brother/sister to land the account. Luke is all, "Life is about tough choices, my brother," and tells Daniel to think about it and get back to him.

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Ugly Betty

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