Ugly Betty

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Grin And Bear It

Meanwhile, Victor Garber lets Betty in on the news that her story was so good, he sent it to a colleague -- an editor at New York Review. He'd like to see her. Today. Betty blubbers, and Victor Garber says, "You really save it for the page, don't you?" Heh. In case you were questioning the subtext of all this, let me help you out: Lying is bad!!!

And you know who seems to have learned this lesson? Daniel. When a much better put together Alexis comes into the office and asks how the meeting with Luke went, he tells her he lost the account. When she prods for more information, he admits that it was because Luke had an issue with her transfabulous self. Alexis, who is kind of in an emotionally fragile state as it is, takes it pretty hard. She gives a big speech about how she can't do anything right. Including, apparently, find an effective antiperspirant. Rebecca Romijn-Stamos-O'Connell's pit stains are massive. I feel her on that, though. Certain Dri is the only thing that works, but I am convinced it will give me insta-cancer. Any deodorant that comes with an instruction manual has to be a little dangerous, is what I always like to say.

Amanda, meanwhile, pores through old issues of Mode with Halston at her side. Halston starts yipping and pawing at an issue. Amanda picks it up and starts flipping through, and finds a picture of Fey and her assistant, Wanda, at the Palladium. Who is this plain, be-afroed Wanda, you may ask? Well, Amanda asks the very same question before getting a shock of recognition. She gives the image a little digital cosmetic surgery and some Botox and finds her answer: Wanda is Ugly Wili. Who, I might add, is standing right behind her. In her not ugly form. Unless you're not a fan of shiny boxy silver garbage bag jacket-dresses. Commercials.

When we return, Betty meets with the editor from New York Review, who is shocked that she's turning them down. Betty starts to tell the truth, before being interrupted by a call from the legal department about a routine fact-checking issue, and a little curiosity about the ear. Betty explains that she works at Mode, and would have to give Mode right of first refusal. This gives her temporary reprieve from the jam that she's in, but not from her conscience.

Meanwhile, Wili tells Amanda that if you drop a penny and a blonde receptionist from the twenty-eighth floor, they both hit the ground at the same time. She believes it's called "terminal velocity." Has Henry been tutoring her too? Amanda hands the photo over to Wili, who thought she had destroyed all evidence of Wanda. Amanda explains that she found the photo because she's looking for her real father. And then, Wili gives us my favorite line of the episode: "Even if I wanted to express sympathy, I physically can't." Amanda starts to leave, but turns and says that, according to the date on the photos, Wili was Fey's assistant during Fey's pregnancy. She says that Wili is her last hope, and asks if she knows who her father is. Wili says, "April 26, 1981. Studio 54. It was the early days of glam-rock fashion, Liza's between husbands, and the party celebrating Fey's first issue of Mode is in full swing." Wili lost Fey for a moment but followed her distinctive laugh to a room where she discovered Fey making it with a fellow who had Tweety Bird tattooed on his ass. To think of the things that wide-eyed little bird must have seen. When Fey started puking up her breakfast, she was thrilled, until she realized she was pregnant. In exchange for Wili's secrecy, Fey agreed to pay for her transformation from mousy assistant Wanda into supermodel Wilhelmina. And now, Betty's trajectory becomes clear. Wili, however, doesn't know who Amanda's father is. She notes that she's done a lot to put Wanda behind her, and Amanda says that Wili's secret's safe with her. After she leaves, Wili spouts, "Mirror, mirror, on the wall..." No, wait, wrong dastardly villainess. She says, in a really scary way, that she put her blood, sweat, and old nose into this place, and that if she can't have Mode, nobody can.

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Ugly Betty

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