They turn on the TV, and it's the fashion buzz, featuring an oh-so-fake interview with Wilhelmina, squeezing Botox droplets out of the place where her tear ducts used to be as she talks about Alexis, who fluttered her eyelids to indicate that she wanted them to go on with their wedding. So, Alexis is clearly in a coma. Wili says something about "our girl," and we cut to Claire in a souped-up pad throwing something at the TV. Yoga walks in, looking very Ralph Lauren. The two are in Montauk, chilling in the Hamptons, which, as Yoga says, beats the crackhouse in the Bronx. She's enjoying blueberries from the farmers' market and mentions a clambake, adding that everyone thinks she's either the maid or Gayle King. Ha! Claire enjoys none of the Hamptons perks, and she really just wants to see her children and get her husband back. Her hatred of Wilhelmina has not lessened one bit. Claire thinks about returning to NYC in a disguise, of which her unknowing host has plenty. Wouldn't it be awful to come back from a vacation in Europe only to discover that convicts on the lam have eaten all of your non-perishable food items? And, knowing Yoga, gotten crumbs in the bed?
Cut to Mode, where Marc notices a candy bit on Amanda's mouth. Turns out Amanda's taken a lover with a creamy center, and now is wearing a really bad fat suit to rival Travolta's. Marc wants Amanda to confront her parents about the birth certificate she found, and then shed those excess hoss pounds she put on so quickly. She says she hasn't put on that much weight, but reconsiders when Wili calls her Betty.
Meanwhile, Daniel's in the hospital. He makes Betty scratch his big toe. Editorial assistants really should consider unionizing. He tells her he's not getting out of the hospital, and he's still in a lot of pain. Betty notes that he's taken every pain pill they've offered. He's just like La Lohan, isn't he? He says Alexis's condition is still the same, and we learn that he hasn't visited her yet. He gives Betty some notes about the feature spread to pass on to Wilhelmina, which Wili promptly throws away. Ileana Douglass has joined the cast as a creative director, and she works with Wili on a Victoria's Secret spread. Wili seems to have everything under control, including a natural-disaster-victim-makeover photo shoot, though she's more dragon-lady-ish than ever. She and Marc talk about the fact that Claire owns Mode, so Wili can't get her claws on it. She will, however, once she marries Old Man Liverspots, get the rest of Meade Publications, as long as Claire stays out of the picture. Wili has my favorite line of the episode: "Where are you, you gin-soaked hag?" I am totally incorporating that in my daily life.