Charlie and Henry invite Betty to Charlie's birthday party. Betty is trying to pretend that the three of them can be friends, so she goes, but in order to save face, she invites her orthodontist to join her. Meanwhile: Daniel and The Chin are still totally doing it. She wants to depose Claire, but since Daniel is (rightly) afraid that Claire will confess, he hides his mother in a hotel under a false name...which Grace soon ferrets out, taking his mother to a restaurant to interview her. Daniel manages to get Grace away from the table and distract her with sex (captured on cameraphone video by Marc, to further Wili's plans of driving a wedge between the Meade siblings), during which time Claire slips away. Claire calls Betty away from the party to bring her a corporate credit card so that Claire can flee the country, so Betty stalls her by bringing her to Queens -- with the orthodontist still in tow. Betty calls Daniel to perform damage control, but he's kind of busy with Alexis, who confronts him with the sex video and gets all mad that Daniel's helping their (in Alexis's mind) evil father. Grace quits the case, and Daniel tells Alexis that Claire killed Fey, and that Alexis's hotheadedness has doomed their mother to prison time. Okay, so, back in Queens, Constance is stalking Ignacio. Hilda had tried to throw her off Ignacio's scent (ew) by telling Constance that Ignacio was seeing another woman, so of COURSE as soon as Constance sees Claire, she assumes that Claire is the other woman. A shoving match ensues, which Ignacio tries to defuse by pointing out that he and Constance aren't really a couple, but she responds by lojacking him and putting him under house arrest. Poor Gabe the orthodontist, sick of getting confused with Henry by everyone Betty's been talking to, tells her she obviously still likes Henry, and leaves with his dignity. Claire turns herself in, which means Bradford will soon be back at Meade Publishing, which means Wili has screwed Alexis out of her power play. Back at the office the next day, Betty tells Henry that she can't handle hanging out with him as friends (unspoken: because she looooooooves him). Amanda wears silly rubber clothes.
Previously: Bradford was arrested for killing Fey Sommers, but Claire confessed to Betty that it was actually she who dunnit. To make matters worse for our heroine, Henry's girlfriend, Charlie, rolled into town and, quite frustratingly, was all perky and likeable. Ignacio's INS case worker got a little too handsy. Alexis bonded with Daniel and went back on her promise to make Wilhelmina Editoratrix-in-Chief. Daniel's dalliance with lawyer and onetime stand-up-ee Grace Chin led him to the information that witnesses saw a blue Aston Martin -- the very same car that Claire drives -- on the night of Fey Sommers's death. I wish this show were a like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure novel and I went down the path where somehow Hilda killed Fey with a push-up bra.
We open with Betty at the orthodontist. She's just gotten some new wires. The orthodontist, whose name is Dr. Farkas, tells Betty that they're a new gauge and will feel weird to her, and to anyone who's kissing her. Betty is all, "Tee hee, no one's kissing THIS metal mouth, Mr. Dr. Sir!" Dr. Farkas says that there must be someone special, and Betty acknowledges that there WAS someone, but that he has a girlfriend. Dr. Farkas asks how it feels, and Betty says that it was tough, but now she's happy and they're all friends. The doctor says that he meant the braces, of course. Betty feels dumb. Dr. Farkas asks if she's comfortable with this, and Betty says that the braces might hurt at first, but that she'll just have a milkshake for lunch, perhaps in order to bring the boys to the yard. This time, Dr. Farkas is actually talking about the situation with Henry and Charlie. Betty says that the milkshake will help that too, and then gets all shades-of-Marcia-Brady as Dr. Farkas gives her a squeeze on the shoulder. There's really nothing that makes a person look sexier than that vinyl chair with the foot rest, is there? Throw in a spit cup and it's like watching really good porn.
Meanwhile, Daniel is rolling around in bed with Grace Chin. He flops over and says that was great, and gets silence and a distracted "Yeah, that was good" in return. Grace says that she's going over her morning meetings in her head. Daniel asks if she's going to make him spoon, and Grace says no, though he is going to make her breakfast, and then she has to go. Daniel notes that Grace likes to have sex three times a night and not cuddle, and asks where she's been all his life. Grace says that after Daniel stood her up in college, she closed herself off emotionally and threw herself into work, substituting ambition for passion. Daniel asks if Grace is ever going to forget that. She says she's not, and that she might even bring it up when she talks to Daniel's mother. Daniel gets a look of panic and sits up, noting his surprise. Grace says that Claire's testimony is important to Bradford's defense. Daniel tells Grace that she can't interview Claire, because Claire relapsed after his father's arrest and took off. Wow, Daniel is really smooth, isn't he? He says that Claire could be anywhere.