Ugly Betty

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Potes: B | Grade It Now!
Icing On The Cake

Previously: Bradford was arrested for killing Fey Sommers, but Claire confessed to Betty that it was actually she who dunnit. To make matters worse for our heroine, Henry's girlfriend, Charlie, rolled into town and, quite frustratingly, was all perky and likeable. Ignacio's INS case worker got a little too handsy. Alexis bonded with Daniel and went back on her promise to make Wilhelmina Editoratrix-in-Chief. Daniel's dalliance with lawyer and onetime stand-up-ee Grace Chin led him to the information that witnesses saw a blue Aston Martin -- the very same car that Claire drives -- on the night of Fey Sommers's death. I wish this show were a like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure novel and I went down the path where somehow Hilda killed Fey with a push-up bra.

We open with Betty at the orthodontist. She's just gotten some new wires. The orthodontist, whose name is Dr. Farkas, tells Betty that they're a new gauge and will feel weird to her, and to anyone who's kissing her. Betty is all, "Tee hee, no one's kissing THIS metal mouth, Mr. Dr. Sir!" Dr. Farkas says that there must be someone special, and Betty acknowledges that there WAS someone, but that he has a girlfriend. Dr. Farkas asks how it feels, and Betty says that it was tough, but now she's happy and they're all friends. The doctor says that he meant the braces, of course. Betty feels dumb. Dr. Farkas asks if she's comfortable with this, and Betty says that the braces might hurt at first, but that she'll just have a milkshake for lunch, perhaps in order to bring the boys to the yard. This time, Dr. Farkas is actually talking about the situation with Henry and Charlie. Betty says that the milkshake will help that too, and then gets all shades-of-Marcia-Brady as Dr. Farkas gives her a squeeze on the shoulder. There's really nothing that makes a person look sexier than that vinyl chair with the foot rest, is there? Throw in a spit cup and it's like watching really good porn.

Meanwhile, Daniel is rolling around in bed with Grace Chin. He flops over and says that was great, and gets silence and a distracted "Yeah, that was good" in return. Grace says that she's going over her morning meetings in her head. Daniel asks if she's going to make him spoon, and Grace says no, though he is going to make her breakfast, and then she has to go. Daniel notes that Grace likes to have sex three times a night and not cuddle, and asks where she's been all his life. Grace says that after Daniel stood her up in college, she closed herself off emotionally and threw herself into work, substituting ambition for passion. Daniel asks if Grace is ever going to forget that. She says she's not, and that she might even bring it up when she talks to Daniel's mother. Daniel gets a look of panic and sits up, noting his surprise. Grace says that Claire's testimony is important to Bradford's defense. Daniel tells Grace that she can't interview Claire, because Claire relapsed after his father's arrest and took off. Wow, Daniel is really smooth, isn't he? He says that Claire could be anywhere.

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Ugly Betty




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