Ugly Betty

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Icing On The Cake

Meanwhile, just as Marc is complimenting the perkiness of her boobs, Amanda gets a package at the front desk from Oswald Lorenzo Studio. The bowl-haired guy who delivers it says that Amanda is Oswald's new muse. Marc says that Oswald Lorenzo is THE "It" designer for all the actors whose faces you recognize but whose names you don't know, like "Whatshername" and "That Guy." Marc asks how Amanda knows Oswald Lorenzo, and she says that they met at the Jil Sander party the previous night. Amanda says that Oswald was totally worshiping her, as we flash back to Oswald totally ignoring her. Amanda then says that there was another skank who was trying to horn in, as we flash back to Amanda horning in skankily. Amanda says that the skank was a cow, and was just one of those women who hates other women. Marc tells her enough with the vagina monologue: open the present. She does, and pulls out a metallic gray, very tiny, rubbery-looking dress. The card reads, "To my muse. Enjoy 'The Amanda.' Love, Oswald." Marc says, "How sweet! He made you a big, silver rubber." Amanda says that Marc's jealous it's not in his size, and Marc says that he is, a little.

Meanwhile, at Casa de Suarez, Constance has made Ignacio a cup of General Foods International Coffee. And this is how the ensuing scene should go:

Ignacio: you remember that time in Paris?
Constance: That café!
Ignacio: That waiter!
Both: Jean-Luc!

Instead, Ignacio takes a sip and says that it's fancy, and Constance says that she likes how Ignacio enjoys the finer things. Ignacio tries to use the "international" aspect to segue into talking about the case for his green card. Constance says that they have time, because his court date isn't for weeks. Constance takes a sip of her drink and asks why the Hazelnut Symphony always makes her want to dance. She grabs "Nacho" and tells him that "Mama wants to shake it." You know, if Nacho would just let himself go, I'll bet Constance would be a bouncy, wild kind of lay. And that man could use some. He's so serious-looking all the time. Constance plants a big kiss on Ignacio, who says he can't because there are kids in the house. She scowls, and he uses the old "heart condition" excuse, brandishing his medicine in defense. If he isn't careful, he might get a visit from the Love Doctor.

Back at Mode, Wilhelmina is watching FashionTV. Alexis enters with a peace offering: an Hermes scarf. Wili says she's sure her cleaning lady will love it. She snottily asks if they have an appointment, and says that even though she's JUST Creative Director, she still has a very full plate. Alexis says that Daniel turned his back on their father for her, and Alexis has to at least give him a chance. Ah, I see where this is going. Wili says that she understands, and then tells Alexis that she's never noticed what big man-hands she has. HA! That's my girl. Kick a tranny when she's down. Both women turn toward the TV as news about Grace Chin taking Bradford's case comes on. Grace gives a press conference in which she says that Bradford Meade is a pillar of society and doesn't have so much as a parking ticket on his record. Well, that's because he has a driver. The rich always get loopholes. Alexis is perturbed. Wili says she's surprised that Alexis hasn't heard about The Chin, and adds that she's never lost a case. She tells Alexis that she guesses things haven't turned out as planned for either of them. Alexis gives her a look and leaves.

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Ugly Betty




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