It's an episode full of sudden, unexplained actions. That can be fun, I guess. Let's run down the, um, rundown.
Cal Hartley suddenly decides to get personally involved in the page-by-page design of the Mode Wedding Issue. Well, that's not that big a surprise, but even though he was responsible for Wilhelmina being kept on at Mode, he immediately starts undermining her authority and getting Claire to back him up. I think he's just messing with them on general principle. And then Cal makes Claire a Vice President of Meade, which I just find baffling, since I was pretty sure she was already one of the owners. Is Cal just personally in charge of the whole company now?
Meanwhile, Y.E.T.I. has phased back into existence as a random generator of plot challenges, and Marc, Betty and Matt have to write a feature article about Music and Physical Sciences. This is important because there's a Hiring Freeze on at Mode, which means that the promotions that Marc and Betty have suddenly decided that they've always wanted can only be achieved by writing an awesome feature article. But Matt's more interested in watching hilarious YouTube videos with Amanda because he's suddenly feeling less interested in magazines in general. So they set up a photo shoot with a famous singer at the planetarium and then Betty and Matt have a big fight.
Daniel decides he wants to marry Molly, who hasn't been on the show in awhile. And they want a huge expensive wedding at the last second, even though they're supposedly trying to conserve money. I mean, if you were told by your boss, who owned the company, that you couldn't even be considered for a promotion because of a hiring freeze, how would you feel if he then asked you to arrange for a lavish, over-the-top ceremony? Well, it's a good thing that Betty has this planetarium that's all full of models and tacos, so Daniel and Molly get married right then.
And then Matt brings Adele to the party so the photo shoot can take place after all while she sings for the party. The feature goes over great with Bernadette Peters, who seems quite taken with Marc.
And Ignacio decides he wants to marry Elena, who was thinking of going off to Chula Vista or something. I'm pretty sure that's always a mistake. Now I'm going to be in some sort of feud with the residents of Chula Vista, I just know it. No offense, Chula Vista! I'm a former San Diegan myself. Anyway, Elena is going there to go learn to be a better nurse or something.
Oh, one more suddenly: that's how Molly dies, as Daniel is packing for their honeymoon to Bora Bora.
Also, I think Amanda has decided that her new catchphrase is "Heeeeeeeeyyyy."
We kick off this episode with Suzuki St. Pierre, who's been banished back to his green-screen. Suzuki reminds us that Cal Hartley has made everything All Right Forever at Meade, and that means that Betty gets to be shown on Fashion Television (or whatever Suzuki's show is called) eating a donut. At home in Queens, Justin is appalled. Betty, sitting next to him and eating what appears to be the same donut, is defensive.
The kitchen is full of Suarezes, plus Matt and Nurse Elena. Betty exposits that today is her Annual Performance Review, and she's going to ask for a promotion to Editor. Well, that seems both unexpected and completely irrelevant to your current job, Betty. But good luck, I guess. And Matt points out that when Betty finishes her Y.E.T.I. final project, she'll get some job interviews. Then he makes a strained analogy to Manny Ramirez last winter, who allegedly had options. None of the Suarezes get the reference. That's weird. They all knew who Alex Rodriguez was last episode. Well, except for Justin. Anyway, it's not a very good reference, because the only team that seemed at all interested in signing Manny last winter was the Dodgers. If other teams were beating down his door, we certainly didn't hear about it.
...Okay, see the way you're staring at the screen? That mixture of incomprehension and irritation is what the Suarezes are giving Matt. I think the line was only there to remind us that he works for a sports magazine. Ignacio gives Matt some food, and as Betty walks past the screen with a plate of donuts (yum!) Hilda knocks Elena's purse off a chair. When she picks it up, she sees a letter that Elena has received from the Chula Vista School of Nursing. In case you're wondering, Chula Vista is in Extremely Southern California, squeezed in between San Diego and the Mexican Border. Hilda looks worried.
It's time for Betty's review, so we cut to Daniel's office. He grades her as "excellent" in several categories, including Punctuality and Initiative. While that's going on, Wilhelmina is doing the same for Marc, although she's giving him a grudging "adequate. Marc is delighted with this, and starts to suggest something with "I was hoping in light of my recent adequacy..." He's like Bill McNeal bragging about his adequatulence. ("Not a word!" "It is now!") It turns out both Marc and Betty want the same thing: to receive promotions to editor. But Cal Hartley has insisted on a Hiring Freeze, which apparently also applies to promotions. So unless someone leaves the company, no one can change jobs, and everyone just got hired back. So Betty and Marc walk sadly back to their desks.