Cut to Daniel getting a blood test. The results will be back in a few weeks. This is like a Maury episode come to life! He heads out for another three-model date, and Betty seems a bit incensed that Daniel doesn't want to spend any time with Daniel Jr. But he is insistent that Billie Jean was not his lover, and this is all a scam. A hurt Daniel Jr. rushes out, and Betty gives Daniel an evil glare. He notes that D.J. doesn't speak English, and Betty says he doesn't have to. As D.J. waits at the elevator, a French-speaking Wili and beret-sporting Marc approach him. Wili says she's sorry that his father left him, and asks if he's hungry. He is, and agrees to have dinner with Wili and Marc. I feel like we're watching a Disney cartoon unfold before our eyes! Don't eat the apple taken from her gnarled hand, le petit Danny!
Back at Casa de Suarez, Justin calls Hilda a tease, but Ignacio thinks that taking it slow is the thing to do -- after all, what does she know about this Coach Diaz, if that even is his name? Betty rushes in and trumps Hilda's modest success with the news that she's going to Rome with Gio. Ignacio wonders how she's going to pay for it, and where she's going to sleep. He does not like this plan one bit. Just as he is going off in rapid Spanish, Justin comes in to tell Betty that there's someone at the door for her. It's Henry. Er, natch. She asks what he's doing there, and he drops to one knee. And not because he's having a knee pain! Because he's proposing! As Betty looks stunned, we head to commercials.
When we return, Betty -- and the rest of her eavesdropping family -- are in shock. Betty asks Henry why he's doing this when she's just starting to get over him. Henry doesn't want Betty to get over him. He's not over her. He loves her, and says that they can be together. Henry proposes that Betty move to Tucson with him. He knows she can be happy there, and has a friend who works at a magazine. Said friend can give Betty a job as a writer. The pay is good, so she can still help out with her family. Henry begs her to say yes. He's going back to Tucson on Monday, and he wants Betty to be on the plane with him -- as his fiancée. What happened to just, like, sending your ex an email to see how they're doing, or maybe the occasional midnight booty call text?
As Betty contemplates the ring, Ignacio asks if she's out of her mind. She's only 24, he says, and is not getting married. He and Hilda, who's all for true love, argue. Ignacio says that Betty is not going to Rome with some guy, and she's not getting married to some guy and moving to Tucson. Betty points out that she's sitting right there, and is asking for advice, not approval. Turns out Ignacio has no approval to give. I think he's still just reeling at the knowledge that Betty isn't a virgin. I mean, I am too. Just take a deep breath and think about empanadas, papi.