Ugly Betty

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Odor In The Court

Betty talks to Henry on the phone as she waits for bloodwork. He offers to come back, but she tells him she'll be okay. Hilda and Justin, meanwhile, put in a plug for Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. The doctor comes back and gives Betty the results. There are lots of long words, but the upshot is that Betty had traces of TOAD VENOM in her system. Doesn't Gwyneth Paltrow use that as eye cream? Well, I guess that explains a lot. Her levels are almost normal now, and she shouldn't have any more effects, but, says the doctor, they're very lucky that this was found in time. Too much toad venom in her system could lead to hallucinations and paranoia, and could even be fatal. Ignacio asks if Betty has eaten or done anything different in the past few days. Betty notes that she did have one of Gio's sandwiches, and he defends himself by saying that they're "all natural." And then it hits Betty: the perfume!

Betty runs through Mode to her desk only to find that the perfume is gone. On the floor she finds a sparkle and heads straight for Amanda. After a second of desk-dodging, Amanda admits she took it. Betty says that it can prove Claire's insanity, and she wants it back. Amanda tells Betty that the perfume wasn't even Claire's -- it was her mother's, who gave it to Bradford, who gave it to Claire. And how does Amanda know this? Why, she read it in Fey's diary, of course. Betty, with her crack powers of deduction, realizes that Fey was trying to poison Claire. Amanda shushes her and explains that Claire went nuts and killed Fey before she even had the chance to die. The nerve. Betty thinks that they have to get the perfume to court and testify about what happened. But Amanda won't do it -- Claire took her mother's life, and now Amanda is going to take hers. Betty plays the Daniel card, asking if Amanda really wants to be responsible for Daniel losing his mother for the rest of his life. She tells Amanda that she knows what it's like to lose a mother, and that if she could keep one person from feeling that, she would. She asks for the perfume.

And then! In court, Betty hands the perfume to Daniel and explains how she was poisoned by it. She has her blood test to prove it. Claire notes her erratic behavior, which she attributed to the stress and the drinking. Maybe I need to get some poison perfume to give cover to my mood swings. Claire's lawyer calls Betty to the stand, after cracking on her hair twice. Betty explains to the jury how she went crazy after only using the perfume for two days, and notes that Claire used it for six months. That is some slow-ass-acting poison. Claire's crackerjack lawyer shrugs and says, "Makes sense to me!" before resting.

Upon cross-examination, Lawyer Dr. Romano asks Betty why Bradford would give Claire poison perfume. She explains that, as documented in Fey's diary, Bradford didn't know. Fey gave it to Bradford so that he would give it to Claire. Dr. Romano asks where the diary is now, and Betty has to admit she doesn't have it. She explains that her family doctor said the perfume was poison. Dr. Romano isn't buying it, and says that in the last few minutes, the prosecution has had the perfume tested. He takes a big swig and, after some theatrics, tells the court that the so-called poison perfume is actually just water straight from the tap. Dr. Biotch takes a sniff and says it smells like water to her. Betty takes a whiff herself of the unscented liquid, and doesn't understand what happened. Cut back to Fey's Secret Sex Dungeon, where Amanda, with Marc looking on, holds, like, an old-time chemistry set beaker with the real poison perfume in it. There's no way she'd give it to Betty, she says, before adding, "Claire Meade, you will never see the light of day."

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Ugly Betty

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