So, Betty spends about half the episode pretty much trying to avoid everyone -- Christina, because she's Wili's pawn; Daniel, because he was a dick; and Henry, because he has a girlfriend who isn't Betty. She also isn't too thrilled with Hilda, either, who opines that she's too hard on her friends, and then brings up how she exiled a high-school friend who ruined their "anti-prom" by getting a date to the actual prom. Daniel, meanwhile, has to deal with the whole "I slept with an underage model named Petra" incident. He offers her $75,000 to go away, but no such luck. He tries to cajole Alexis into putting Petra on the cover, and eventually -- upon Henry's advice -- confesses to her that he's being blackmailed. Alexis, however, is pissed because Bradford offered her $10 million to resign from Mode, leave town, and let Daniel once again take the position of editor-in-chief. Thus, she demands his resignation in return for putting Petra on the cover. But, just in time, Daniel and Betty reconcile, and Betty saves the day once again by uncovering the fact that Petra is actually twenty. In the process, she and Henry reconnect, and eventually her goodwill extends to Christina, too. Meanwhile, a lot of folks are getting busy. Amanda bags a closet straight designer, who provides her with hot sex and free clothes. Alexis gets devirginized by the creative director of Mode Brazil, who doesn't care that she used to be a man. He even goes so far as to invite her to come back to Brazil with him. And why? Because Bradford has promised him that he'll be Mode Brazil's editor-in-chief if he can get Alexis the hell out of his life. And whose idea was that? Wilhelmina's, of course. And speaking, of, she's getting a little too busy for her liking, and has Marc replace Bradford's Viagra with mints. But it doesn't matter, because she's just that good. However, she's not good enough to become the next Mrs. Meade, as Bradford tells her that he'll never divorce Claire. And finally, Hilda and Santos have started dating again, and, despite Ignacio's warnings to him, he proposes. And Hilda accepts! You know the only thing that could ruin this happy Suarez family moment? Ignacio's lawyer telling him that he'll have to go back to Mexico. And that totally happens.
Previously on Ugly Betty: Betty got all judge-y when Christina confessed that she's been doing favors for Wilhelmina in return for the opportunity to get into Mode's fashion week show. Alex Meade came back from the dead and with an extra "x" chromosome to boot, much to Bradford's chagrin. Wilhelmina learned that the path to Bradford's heart -- and hopefully to becoming editor-in-chief of Mode -- was paved with pumice stones. Daniel told Betty that she needed to punch out and stop watching him off the clock. This was a decision he'd come to regret when he accidentally slept with a sixteen-year-old model whose mother then blackmailed him for a cover shoot. How in the world will he get out of this statutory scrape?
It is early morning at the Suarez house. We are in Betty's bedroom, and we see a pair of hands grasping onto the window ledge from outside. Oh, great, now Betty's going to get abducted. Hasn't she been through enough already? No, actually it's Hilda, and she hoists herself through the window and lands on a sleeping Betty. Betty jumps up with a start, and we get to see her headgear and curlers, and she screams. Hilda asks Betty what she's doing there, and Betty is like, duh, I live here, you ho. She asks what Hilda's doing climbing through her window like she's in high school. Hilda explains that she was out again last night -- with Santos! She doesn't want to tell Ignacio or Justin yet, because she's not sure if it's just "I love you" or "I love you naked." In the best of all possible worlds, it would be both.
Hilda asks why Betty isn't at work. Betty says that she's calling in sick and hides under the covers. Hilda sarcastically asks if she's still mad at everybody there. Betty asks why she wouldn't be. Christina's her best friend, and Betty confided things in her that she went and told Wilhelmina. Daniel told her to butt out of his life, and that she's just his secretary. And I bet he doesn't even get her a nice three-in-one basket plant on Secretary's Day, either. And then there's Henry. Hilda asks what he did, and Betty says nothing, but he has a girlfriend. And that's just the cherry on the sundae. Hilda asks kindly if Betty would like a sundae. Betty nods, and Hilda says tough, because it's Monday and she should go to work and be an adult. A job, Hilda says, is about making money, not friends. Hey, just like a reality show! Hilda says that a job is also about stealing office supplies, then reminds Betty that they're out of coffee filters. Seriously, if I didn't have a job, I would never be able to staple anything.