Oh dear. And now it's time for the makeover, which does not, I hate to tell you, end in a heartwarming shot of Betty now looking like America Ferrera (i.e., way cuter). Instead, Hilda drags Betty to the salon of a flashy, tacky-fantastic woman named "Choly." Because this show loves a cross-cutting montage, while Choly and her staff are examining Betty (Choly, it must be said, looks taken aback at how much work she must do on poor Betty's brows), Wilhelmina is getting her hair attended to in a very posh salon, the sort that gives you champagne.
Betty shows Choly a picture of, I think, Salma Hayek, and inquires doubtfully as to whether Choly can make her look like that. Choly tells her to relax, "and let Choly do her thing." She then leans over and tells her assistant to get the big tweezers.
As Wilhelmina serenely submits to having her brows threaded, Betty screams as hers are waxed. Oh, honey, just be glad you're not getting a Brazilian.
As Wilhelmina gets a massage and guzzles champers, Betty giggles as the pedicurist vigorously scrubs the bottom of her feet. I admit, I do that too: both the champagne guzzling and the giggling. I am a very ticklish person. A ticklish, alcoholic person.
As Wilhelmina admires her new sleek look -- which is very similar to her old sleek look -- Betty chokes on Aqua Net. Yes, hold your breath when they're spraying chemicals in your face, dear. God, she does need a mother figure.
And finally, while Wilhelmina emerges looking fab, Betty looks incredibly flashy. Her brows look mildly better, but there is...well, it seems to be a beehive involved. As well as huge, Bedazzled acrylic nails. And what look like rhinestones stuck along her eyelash line. Frankly, I'm concerned that Justin may have a heart attack when he sees her.
However, Juston doen't get to weigh in. Instead, Wyclef Jean and Shakira inform us that hips don't lie as Betty waggles hers down the street. It turns out that the men in Queens think Betty looks hot, from Walter, to Walter's friends, to construction workers. Betty is adorably pleased by the catcalls from the dudes working on the street, going so far as to thank her hardhatted friends for whistling at her. It's really rather endearing. From a high-fashion standpoint, however, she looks...really over-the-top and tacky. I will say, however, that America Ferrera has great calves, and should wear heels constantly.