Ugly Betty

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Jessica: B- | Grade It Now!
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Queens For A Day

At the Suarez homestead, Justin interrogates Betty about the club: "They say people wait in line for, like, three hours just to get inside." "Some people wait more," Betty sighs. Enter Hilda, just in time to hear Justin ask Betty if she brought him home a matchbook; she claims she forgot. He asks her about the bathrooms at the club; she claims she didn't have to pee. Hilda sends the kid off to get ready for bed, and he scampers off, but then turns back and tells Betty that he read her "boss's first issue." His review? "A little bulky, but good balance of style, accessories, and puff pieces." With this, Justin flounces off. Clap, clap. Someone give that actor a raise, because he is really selling this part.

Hilda gives Betty a "can you believe that kid?" look, and then says, "You didn't get in, did you?" It is at this point that I must take a sidebar from reporting the action to note that Betty's eyebrows are worse than ever. I mean, bushy is chic again, but this is simply too much. I kind of can't take it. I've plucked the shit out of my left brow in some kind of Pavlovian response to it already. Betty doesn't want to talk about the party, so she tells Hilda that she has to go email Daniel his itinerary for the next day. Hilda sighs that she doesn't know why Betty is doing this to herself. You see, it seems that Hilda -- along with the rest of the world -- would really like to see Betty get a decent haircut. And here's the thing: Betty would look a thousand times better with a decent haircut, and she'd therefore probably feel better about things, too. Moreover, I am a firm believer that having nice hair doesn't mean a girl has been brainwashed by Mode or whatever. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look as good as you can, and while I don't think Betty is resisting external change for ethical reasons, I do think she's staying "ugly" because fundamentally she's scared that, even at her best, she won't be pretty enough. Wow, that was deep. I don't know where that came from. My whole point was merely that a cute haircut can lift the mood. At any rate, Hilda reminds us that she's the top-selling Herbalux salesperson in her district because she knows how to sell herself: "The hair, the face, the clothes. You gotta look it to be it, that's the Herbalux way." Or, as they used to say, fake it 'til you make it. Betty doesn't want to talk about getting a haircut, but Hilda presses on, saying that if Betty wants to fit in at Mode, she has to change, because the people at Mode won't. Betty thinks about this as the New Wobbly Music ominously wails us into commercial, making that act-out seem incredibly sinister, as though Betty is so fed up with her sister's desire to fix her up that she will stab her to death with a kitchen knife rather than look into some nice layers and maybe some side-swept bangs.

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Ugly Betty

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