Ugly Betty

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B- | Grade It Now!
Queens For A Day

Vincent Bianchi's studio. He's doing artist-y things when he gets a phone call. Why, it's Betty! She very charmingly chats him up about Queens and his past work a bit. It seems that they went to the same high school and grew up four blocks from each other, in a neighborhood that sounds as though it is bordered on all sides by places to buy snacks, especially sausage and pepper heroes. Now I'm hungry. Finally, Betty gets down to brass tacks, but Vincent hangs up when he hears "my boss, Daniel Meade." Sadly, sausages will only get you so far.

While Betty is waxing poetic about sandwiches, Wilhelmina is giving Evil Marc directions in her office: she'd like him to frame and hang all her "commendations" and arrange her many awards before the Senator comes to pick her up for the Breast Cancer Ball, or whatever it is she's going to. Marc agrees. He fondles one of the awards longingly, and begins practicing his acceptance speech, but Wilhelmina will have none of his shenanigans today, and orders him to get to work. I don't know why she's so stressed out, but I imagine that having to keep the news that their former boss has sort of faked her own death would get to a girl.

Betty trudges home past Sal's Deli. She looks thoughtful.

While Betty ponders sausages, Mysterious Leatherman and Bradford have another mysterious meeting. Mysterious Leatherman has tracked down Fey's car at that junkyard. Unfortunately, it's being auctioned for $10,000. Bradford acts all put out, but I'm sure he's got that much cash in his wallet. Or just steal the car, dudes. Or burn down the junkyard. Or go in and smash the car in. Do I have to do everything here? Why is everyone on this show so bad at this?

Daniel's holding court in the conference room, a bunch of Modes on the table. He wants to know which of two covers he's mocked up appeals more to the ladies in the room. Not surprisingly, Amanda and Betty disagree with each other, and Daniel -- rightly realizing that Amanda is more firmly in the demographic to whom he's trying to sell magazines -- sends Betty off to fetch him some cream cheese for his bagel. While she's off on this errand, his phone rings and he answers it himself. Amanda watches him handle the telephone like this is the sexiest thing she's ever seen. Daniel is pretty cute.

Cut to Betty, who's still walking down the hall holding Daniel's bagel. He trots up behind her and stops her: "Betty? Vincent Bianchi is on line 3. For you." Betty looks surprised, but trots over to her desk and picks up the phone. Her shirt is truly awful, but it occurs to me that all of Betty's heinous blouses would just look fashion-forward on someone who had a decent haircut and good shoes. Daniel paces and listens in as Betty giggles to Vincent about sandwiches. "Are you serious? Oh my god, that would be so wonderful, Mr. Bianchi. Okay, Vincent. Okay, that was my boss that picked up," she chortles, and then puts her hand over the mouthpiece and tells Daniel that Vincent loved "the sausages [she] sent over," and thinks she has "cojones." Daniel, understandably, looks totally perplexed. Betty hisses that she'll explain later, and tells him to go pick up his extension. He scampers into his office, and pushes Amanda plumb off his desk in this rush to get to the phone. She squeaks like a little mouse.

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Ugly Betty




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