Back at The Middle Ages, it's time for a log brawl. Nick, the black knight, suits up. Betty goes up to Henry and tells him that she knows he believes in chivalry and all that stuff, but he doesn't have to defend her honor. Yes, I do, says Henry the white knight. He puts Betty's paper crown atop her head, and gets ready to go into battle. Christina notes that he's a romantic little banger. Betty just nods, so touched by the gesture that she forgets about how Henry is about to get the crap beat out of him.
Henry and Nick get their giant Q-Tip jousting poles and take their places on the log. It's very American Gladiators. Man, do I miss that show. Henry gets a good whack on Nick's head to start off. He gazes adoringly and proudly at Betty, who goes off into some weird princess fantasy involving sword play and Nick yelling, "I am unmanned!" And, of course, Betty and Henry finally getting to consummate their heretofore unrequited love, clinking armor and all. Back in the present, however, Henry is getting pummeled. Nick gets him off the log and has thus won, but, in a testosterone-fueled display, jumps off and gives him a giant Q-tip to the head, over and over. Maybe he's just being helpful and trying to get the earwax out? An official runs over and pulls Nick off, and then Betty rushes to a beaten Henry's side. She puts his glasses back on his bruised and battered face. An obviously out of it Henry asks if he won. Betty apologizes. And then, this: "I love you," says Henry before he passes out. NO WAY! Commercials.
When we return, Betty is jostling Henry and trying to get him to wake up. She asks if he said I love you, but he is still passed out. "What did you say?" she yells, and gives him a good slap. This episode has been very violent! Henry wakes, smiles, and looks up. "Charlie?" he asks. Betty says that no, it's Betty. But in fact, Charlie is standing right behind her. That bitch is such a buzzkill. Betty awkwardly says hi, and asks how long she's been there. Charlie says that she's been there long enough to wonder why her boyfriend's getting hurt defending Betty. Eh, good point. Betty rushes over to Charlie and says it's not what it looks like. When in fact, it is exactly what it looks like. Bad lie, Betty. Charlie says that she's not stupid, and that she's seen the way that Henry looks at Betty. Betty says that she didn't mean for this to happen, and Charlie replies that there's a reason that fairy tales don't have two princesses. She says that Henry is her boyfriend, and tells Betty to back off. She rushes over to tend to Henry, and Betty stands there feeling kind of dumb.