Ugly Betty

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Secretaries Day

Meanwhile, Betty is on the horse. Nick yells that she's going to break the horse, and then says, "Get it? Because she's fat," to his friends before bumping fists, the terminal straight guy gesture for wanting to bump other things rhyming with "snugglies." The horse starts bucking, and Betty hangs on. Five seconds in, Nick actually throws, like, a potato at her and clocks her right in the head. That is so wrong! As you can imagine, this makes Betty's task even more difficult, and she flies off the horse with three seconds to go. She looks like she's going to pass out. Nick celebrates on behalf of assholes everywhere. Henry rushes over to her, and a sad Betty laments that she couldn't do it. Nick yells that she got a piece of the Pep, and Henry marches over to him and asks what's wrong with him, noting that Betty could have been hurt. And kind of was hurt, actually. Nick says, "Whatever. Brace-face jacked my yogurt." And again...he kind of has a point. What? Stay away from my peanut butter, bitches, or face the consequences. But Henry doesn't take kindly to this latest insult, and gives Nick a proper little push. Nick pushes back, then Henry pushes back harder, and then Nick looks like he's about to open a can of kung fu whoop ass. A worker comes over and tells them that this dispute will be settled as all disputes must be settled at The Middle Ages: on the log. The crowd starts changing, "Log! Log! Log!" and Amanda notes that things are about to get nerd nasty.

Meanwhile, Marc and Wilhelmina are standing in the stairwell at Mode. Wili wants to prove to Bradford that Claire is a monster by showing him what she's capable of. She tells Marc to hit her as hard as he can. This is like his birthday and Christmas and fifteen seconds on the giant robot horse all wrapped into one! Marc asks if this isn't a little extreme, even for her, and she tells him not to pretend that he never wanted to do it. Marc asks if this is a trap, then gives Wili a little tap on the face. She yells, "Hit me like a man, you pansy," and clocks him. Marc is disturbed. Wili tells him that she needs visible bruises, and then places some bait. She asks who he thinks made sure he didn't get a raise for the past two years, who he thinks cut his vacation time, and who broke into his computer and cancelled his subscription to Dude com. This last bit is too much for him to bear, and he slaps her good. Wili asks him to do it harder. Okay, now even I think this is a little disturbing. She gives him a good punch, and he goes after her with girly slaps before clocking her right in the face. And, effectively, pushing her down the stairs. She tumbles down and he kind of giggles, which is awesome enough to make me forget why I was disturbed in the first place.

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Ugly Betty




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