Betty mixes up the photos, obviously, while she's on this call, and then Claire says you only call your doctor by his first name if you're a drug-seeker like she used to be, and Betty should not be taking Ignacio to "Dr. Steve," but instead to this specialist who is a family friend. Betty hems and haws about this for a sec, and then accepts with much more grace than you might have expected. Betty heads home to Queens, and learns that Hilda's version of taking Ignacio to the doctor means calling Dr. Steve on the phone and having him say everything's fine. Because after a quadruple bypass, it's possible to be this stupid.

That fucking bluebird is sighted, and Betty drags Hilda into the kitchen to thank her for being so effing stupid all of a sudden in order to move this disgusting plotline along. Then she bitches at her for taking the quinceañera job, as though this is even minorly close to being any of her fucking business, and then bitches at Hilda even more for not de-linting Papi's sweaters. But lest you think she's being an insane asshole, which she is, she is also vindicated by Hilda being an even bigger asshole, like, has forgotten to give him his pills. Then Papi limps into the kitchen to get some tea -- so apparently he can handle boiling water, okay, but not taking a pill on his own -- and that fucking bluebird goes around to some other stupid area of their stupid house, and they have even more of this same exact fight.

Hilda gets mad at Betty for getting Papi an appointment with the cardiologist. Gets mad at her, because -- somehow -- it means that she can't do the quinceañera job. Nobody thinks to explain how or why this is true, because it's that stupid. ["And wouldn't the quinceañera be on the weekend? When Betty would be home? And the doctor wouldn't be working?" -- Angel] Then Hilda tells her to fuck off because she's always working so how dare she tell Hilda how to take care of their dad, and Betty says she has to be "Betty Bossypants" because if she doesn't, Hilda's stupidity and laziness will cause the entire borough to burn down around their ears, starting with Papi. Who is a GROWN MAN who is STANDING RIGHT THERE and can obviously do BASIC SHIT like take a cab to a PLACE.