Doctor: "Oh, I forgot to tell you the results of those tests that we completed hours ago. Your dad is fine."
Hilda: "THAT MAKES ME EVEN MORE MAD."
Betty: "Really? That's sort of stupid."
Hilda: "No, Betty. Not this time. You're not getting away with it. It's your fault our mother is dead, it's your fault our father had a heart attack, it's your fault people get sick and die, it's your fault we took him to the doctor and got this wonderful news, and it's your fault that our father is such a fucking douchebag that he wandered out into the city for NO REASON AT ALL."
Justin: "Oh, Grandpa just came home. I thought I would call you on your portable cellular phone and let you know that, although Grandpa thought otherwise for some reason."
Betty: "I'm so sorry that I'm such a terrible person that I let you be in charge of yourself for five seconds."
Hilda: "I hate how controlling you are, but at the same time I also hate how you won't wipe my ass for me."
Betty: "It's like I'm inventing new ways to be worthless."
Ignacio: "Now that I am suddenly infirm and have lost my formerly agile mind, I'm going to get a nurse."
Betty or Hilda, who cares anymore: "But we can't afford that! I sell candles/am supporting a schizophrenic receptionist!"
Ignacio: "I went to the Medicaid office and found out that they'll help pay for a part-time nurse. The More You Know."
Betty: "Okay, let's stop fighting."
Hilda: "Okay, I forgive you. For having a job and a life and career of your own, something your sister and father simply refuse to do. Which is also your fault."
Betty: "It feels good to be forgiven for working hard to get the basic shit all people deserve."
Wili brings Marc a watch or something from the Franco-Teutonic client, and he calls her out for being gross with him earlier. She explains to him that it's normal human behavior, and instead of explaining that it actually is not, tries to explain the concept of being humiliated. She makes the somewhat valid point that they aren't there to be pitched by an assistant, they're there to get a pitch from Wilhelmina Slater. Which, Marc points out, wouldn't have even happened if she'd keep those knees together and stop ignoring her job and responsibilities for her new calling of acting like a whore. Because this show agrees that Wili having sex is evil and leads to madness, she offers to fire Marc and that straightens him up right quick.