As we start off this episode, everyone is getting laid and is so all happy and stuff. Daniel is gaga over Sofia, who begins feverishly angling for a ring, and a Ted-loving Wilhelmina is relaxed enough to buy into some parable about a roadrunner and armadillo. And to take herself a damn casual day for once in her life. And to tell the lady with all the bandages that she doesn't really care about taking over Meade Publications. I KNOW! Ted should teach classes at the local community college or something. He's good. Meanwhile, Betty takes her post at MYW, where she meets her braceface sweater-vest-loving counterpart and gets assigned her first story, about being a "fish out of water" working at Mode. It's appropriate, because something is definitely fishy at MYW. Betty discovers that Sofia's supposed ex-fiancÃ©, Hunter, is actually a stripper, and that she's been paying him. As she and Christina investigate the situation at Hunter's placer of employment, the words "slapping the bongos" make an appearance. I'm just saying. Betty gets to Daniel too late with this very troubling information, because he has taken Sofia home to meet his crazy yet oddly touching parents (one of whom is, in fact, the boss), and has proposed. The two make an appearance on Rise and Shine America to announce their engagement, and Daniel discovers on-air that Sofia has been using him as a publicity stunt for the cover story of the first MYW: "From fling to ring in 60 days." She, like, totally doesn't even want to marry him, and tells him so. And gives back the ring! On the air! Daniel is sufficiently devastated. And then Ted decides to try to make a go of it with his wife, and the temporarily de-bitched Wilhelmina comes back in full force. I'm sad for her, butâ¦hooray! It's nice to see her back to her old self. Meanwhile, Ignacio is not hauled off by the INS. And Betty predictably quits her job at MYW after Sofia's stunt, but when she goes to see Danielâ¦he's disappeared!
Props to the Golden Globe-winning America Ferrara! No such props to that stupid Menounos bitch.
Previously: the INS came to town to arrest Ignacio for being an illegal immigrant. Texas Ted came to town to arrest Wilhelmina for being so undersexed. Sofia Reyes came to town to arrest Daniel with her smoldering eyes and hot bod, despite the presence of her SUPPOSED fiancé. Oops, spoiler. And while in town, Sofia swooped up Betty for a job at her magazine, MYW, which Betty should be starting right about now!
But...wait! Instead, Betty is feverishly walking down the hallway of a television studio. She walks into the control room and a guy in a headset says, "Whoa, Rhoda...where do you think you're going?" HA! Though I would have gone for "Velma from Scooby Doo." Or Maude, just so I could sing the kicky theme song. But Betty is unfazed, and forcefully says that she needs to talk to Daniel Meade. The guy says that Daniel is on stage, and that they're going to air in less than a minute. Betty says that it's an emergency, and then tells him her name and that she's Sofia Reyes's assistant. The guy says that they have been specifically instructed not to let Betty go anywhere near them. Betty tries to make a break for it and run onto the set, where Sofia and Daniel are snuggling on a couch and getting their makeup touched up. Betty lets out a giant "Adriaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"-like scream for Daniel, but Security comes and drags her away. As the door closes, we see it's the stage of a show called Rise And Shine America, and that there's a live taping in progress. Well, this all seems very dramatic, doesn't it?
And then, it is twenty-four hours earlier. We open with Daniel bringing Sofia breakfast in bed. It's a breakfast parfait, which he proudly says he made all by himself. See, this is the first sign that Daniel is completely emasculated. Bring your woman some bacon, heterosexual male! Daniel tells Sofia that there are a lot of layers, and that she has to get through them all, because at the bottom there's a surprise. Sofia gets a funny and excited look in her eye and starts to scarf-ait her parfait. Daniel says that the last two weeks away from Sofia have been impossible, and she says it's been unbearable for her too. She then asks why her yogurt is crunchy, and Daniel says it's the pine nut layer. Because I am allergic to pine nuts, I instantly think that Sofia is going to be allergic to pine nuts and that this episode will culminate with her dying and/or Daniel learning how to wield an Epi-Pen. A note to all of you romantics out there: if you don't know someone all that well, don't put any kind of nut layer in her breakfast. Or clams. Unless it's a big, delicious glass of Clamato Juice. Breakfast of champions! Daniel tells Sofia to promise him that she'll never spend that much time away from him again, and she coyly asks if he's asking her to stick around. He kind of nods. She then asks what the surprise is, and Daniel says, "Papaya!" Ha! Don't feel bad, Sofia, I thought it was a ring, too. Daniel says he cut it into little heart-shaped pieces, and Sofia retorts, "No ring?" Daniel says that they haven't even gone through the steps of love yet. Sofia asks what steps of love he's talking about, and it turns out they're the steps of love that should occur before a couple gets engaged, and are featured in the first chapter of her book. Sofia says that she just wrote that to give the book pizzazz, and then notes that the book is being turned into a movie, and Penélope Cruz is dying to play her. Meta! Daniel asks if the part about wearing each other's underwear for a day is also BS, and Sofia says that she was drunk when she wrote that. I think that's probably true for a lot of self-help and advice books. Daniel says he's glad, because whatever lacy thong of Sofia's he's wearing is riding up. You know he loves it, though. See aforementioned parfait. Sofia tells Daniel to forget about the book, saying that it's right between them and asking if he can feel it. He says that he does feel it, but wants to savor this time, and then leaves. I would want to savor the time when I woke up and Salma Hayek was in my bed, too. Sofia looks perturbed.