Ugly Betty

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Something Wicked This Way Comes

Previously: Betty met a sandwich guy named Gio, while Marc met zaftig photographer Cliff. At least one of these was a love match. Wili announced that the Meade/Slater wedding was back on, while Bradford berated Daniel about losing advertisers at Mode. Meanwhile, after much ado about paternity, Betty decided to give a relationship with Henry a shot, even though all signs point to doom. She may wear practical shoes, but she certainly does not have a practical heart.

We begin with Betty creeping down the stairs of Casa de Suarez, trying to sneak out. Ignacio catches her and rushes her to the kitchen: this was Hilda's first week at her new salon job, so he's planned a celebration. Betty says she's going to the movies, and Ignacio, assuming that she's going alone, tells her that she needs to be with family and food to get over "this Henry thing." She's trying to get over, under, around and through this Henry thing, if he'd just let her get out the damn door. The food tempts her, and she, Ignacio, and Justin give Hilda a big balloon-filled surprise when she comes in the door. Hilda seems pretty nonchalant about her new job at Bumble and Bumble, though Justin wants to hear all about celebrity escapades like the time Beyoncé bitch-slapped Fergie. That time is known as "every day." Ignacio gives him a stern look, and Justin explains that there's no other word for it. It's true that "bitch-slap" and "bad-ass" and "WTF?" don't really count as swears. There's still an ongoing debate about "dingleberry." Betty tries to make a subtle exit, but the whole family ends up volunteering to go to the movie with her. She gives in and says that they should all stay home and celebrate...

...and then goes outside, where Henry is waiting behind the trash can, to tell him that she can't go. He already knows: "Your family is really loud." Henry is frustrated that Betty has so many friends who don't want her to be alone, and says that they see less of each other now than they did when they weren't going out. He wonders if it wouldn't just be easier to tell people that they're going out, but she says the utter stupidity of what they're doing makes this impossible. Plus, secret office love is hott. In the end, Henry has to put it back in his pants as Hilda beckons Betty back inside. There's nothing to kill romance more than being thrown over a railing and into a pile of trash, unless you're Oscar trying to impress Slimey with a nice, ripe Cabernet.

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Ugly Betty

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