Ugly Betty

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A- | Grade It Now!
Bickering Isn't Going to Solve Anything!

Welcome back to Ugly Betty. To begin this week's episode, Betty will be going through her closet and looking appraisingly at a number of outfits. Those of you with a low tolerance for bright colors and prints are advised not to look directly at your television. And if you think you've got it bad, keep in mind that I'm looking at these clothes in HD. Betty eventually selects a black dress and goes downstairs, where Hilda, Justin, and Ignacio all assume someone must have died. In fact, Betty just thought she should wear something less cheerful because Meade is broke. Even her opening-credits smile is less wide than usual. Justin praises her outfit effusively. Although to be fair, Justin does most things effusively. He's just an effusive kid.

Hilda expresses disbelief that Connor could steal the entire contents of the bank account without being caught (I'm with her!), and Betty says that Connor seems to have completely vanished and there's no way to track him. Ignacio is more concerned with shouting at the cooking show on the television, which is behavior I can identify with. He's angry at a show called Kitchen Rumble, in which Frankie Burrata (Steve Schirripa, who played Bobby Bacala on The Sopranos) challenges everyday cooks. There's a prize of $10,000, but if you lose, all you get are Frankie's leftovers. Ignacio has been calling and demanding to be on the show, but so far to no avail. Not even a small avail. No avail whatsoever for Ignacio.

Betty reports that she's having dinner tonight with her New Friend Matt, and Justin gives her some final praise for her perfect company-in-ruin outfit. Then she turns around to leave and we see that she has a giant, colorful fabric flower affixed to her butt. Justin: "So close, and yet so far." Wouldn't you think Betty would own a black dress to go to funerals in? When you live inside a telenovela, you're in mourning a lot.

Betty arrives at her desk in a tizzy. She sets the tizzy carefully by the phone and answers it. It is Matt, who wants to know if she's received his gift. She has not. Matt claims that he's looking forward to imagining the look on her face when he hears her getting the present. That sentence was a lot more complicated than the other ones in this paragraph, wasn't it? Daniel shows up and seems worried about the company needing a couple million dollars so it doesn't go bankrupt. Betty asks about Molly, and Daniel says that he's leaving Molly alone, as per her wishes. A heart-shaped mylar balloon attached to a jar of jellybeans arrives for Betty, and she gets a little flustered trying to get the balloon to behave. She probably set it too close to the tizzy. After Daniel leaves, Betty picks up the phone and assures Matt that her face is smiling. But we see it reflected in the mylar balloon so it looks all distorted and weird.

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Ugly Betty




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