Ugly Betty

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Monty Ashley: C- | Grade It Now!
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The Claire Witch Project

Back at the Suarez residence (you will note that I am valiantly resisting the urge to call it the "Suarezidence," even though that would save me four valuable keystrokes), Betty and Hilda decide that everything's fine. Elena says she won't quit, and Betty says that Claire says that Ignacio is fine. Hilda talks a bit about Claire's boozing, pill-popping, murdering past, which Justin seems to find charming in a person. Ignacio starts to say something, and Betty runs off to do some interviews for that video tribute she's supposed to be doing.

Hey! It really is Liz Smith! And some other women I don't recognize! They will be playing the part of "Claire's friends" in this episode. They all agree that Claire's best quality is that she's a fun drunk, at least at first. And after the eleventh. "She's a stumbling delight!" enthuses one of them. The only other story involves a woman who looked just like Claire eating out of a garbage can. Well, that was fun.

Betty walks back into the Mode offices, greeted cheerfully by Amanda. Betty complains that Claire doesn't appear to have any real friends, and Amanda offers to go on camera for a birthday greeting. Unfortunately, that greeting goes "Happy birthday, Mrs. Meade. You killed my mother!" That's probably not what Betty was looking for.

Wili's office still has a Molly-praising parrot, which is getting on Wilhelmina's nerves. When Marc suggests that she could have just watered Connor's plants (...if you know what I mean), she snaps, "I guess people in love do stupid things!" Marc is enraptured by the idea of Wili being in love, but she does not plan to tell Connor that any time soon. Because, you see, to tell someone you love them before that person has told you would mean giving up power. She has an analogy involving putting Bill Clinton on hold. Wili: "Until he makes the first move, no one outside this office will ever hear me say I love Connor." Parrot: "I love Connor!" And it keeps saying it. Will the bird give the secret away? Well, are we sure it didn't know how to say that already? Frankly, Connor seems to me like the kind of guy who would immediately teach his parrot to say it loves him.

Meanwhile, somewhere in New York, Daniel has brought Molly to "Himalayan Yak Restaurant", because she was sad that she never got to Tibet. Daniel claims that it's "New York's best-kept secret," but of course Molly has been there before. The waiter is delighted to see her and is appalled that Daniel is not "Mister Connor". Is Mister Connor sick? What's with this guy who's not Mister Connor? On their way to the able, they pass a picture of Molly and Connor. So they weren't just regulars, they were super-regulars.

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Ugly Betty

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