Ugly Betty

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Monty Ashley: C- | Grade It Now!
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The Claire Witch Project

Claire is shopping while Betty is interviewing her. Well, trying to interview her. Claire is openly skeptical about Betty's cover story. Betty gives up on the video tribute (which is something I did almost as soon as it was mentioned!) and instead grills Claire about whether she said it was okay to sleep with his nurse. Claire waves away all of Betty's objections and grabs some underwear off a table before heading out the door. When Betty (who's really working the shocked and appalled look this episode) asks if she's stealing something, Claire just mumbles, "Maybe. So what?" As they walk out the door, Betty grabs the underwear out of Claire's hand. So Claire walks into the street and Betty's standing there in the doorway just as the store alarm goes off. A security guard drags Betty off.

After the commercials, the security guard is commenting on Betty's choice of skimpy underwear. She's protesting her innocence when Claire comes back and makes a full confession. Some guy (who I take to be the store owner) says he'll just call the cops. Claire and Betty are left alone and the sad piano starts up as Claire says that now she's old, she feels ignored and invisible. She wishes she could have some time alone with Daniel and ties that together with Betty's inability to let her father have someone. Then the probably-store-owner comes back and lets Betty go. But Claire has to go with him. Somewhere. They could have just left instead of having that Sad Piano talk. There's an elevator right there.

Daniel is recuperating on a couch at Mode when Molly comes in with some club soda. Daniel moans about having thrown up on a Buddha statue and Molly reassures him that they'll have their own history and that he should quit obsessing about Connor. Then Daniel gets a call from Betty, which leads to him showing up at the store to greet Claire. Claire apologizes for being a mess, and Daniel apologizes for not being a good son. Claire reveals that she knows there's going to be a party, and that she was kind of hoping to avoid it by being in jail.

Back to Wili and Marc. They're trying to convince the parrot to say "I love Gucci" or something so it won't give away Wili's secret. Finally, she tells Marc to throw the bird out the window. Marc gasps, "That's birder!" (which rhymes with "murder". It makes sense when you hear it) even though Wili reasonably maintains that it could just fly away. Marc tells her that she's just being afraid.

Elena is walking down a street in Queens. She has a basket of groceries, which I am delighted to report has a loaf of French bread sticking out of it. Bags of groceries in movies and television shows always have French bread in them. I can only assume that if you eat French bread, your life will instantly become much more dramatic. Betty is on her front stoop and apologizes. Sad Guitar music starts up as they make amends. Betty says that she's just worried about her father's heart, but Elena maintains that romance is good for the heart. She also makes a reference to she and Ignacio "swinging form the chandeliers," which completely squicks Betty out. Do they even have chandeliers?

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Ugly Betty

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