Ugly Betty

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
The Lyin', The Watch And The Wardrobe

Over at Wil's office, Marc is reapplying his Betty Brows, just for fun. He admires himself in a mirror at his desk, which is kind of hilarious. Wil strolls up behind him, resplendent in her Valentino. "Hail to queen, she lives, she breathes!" Marc breathes, delightedly. "It's not too much?" she asks. "Not enough," slims the Too Youthful Jason, who actually seems far too skeezy for Wilhelmina, who can surely do better. She asks, flirtatiously, if he's sure he wants to be seen with an "old broad" like her. "A minute younger and I'd have to rip your clothes off right here, Jason oozes. Wil and Marc exchange satisfied looks. "Nice brows," Jason tells Marc, who looks mortified and rips them off. Amanda tentatively sticks her head in the office, and tells Wil that she's sorry to interrupt, but Nico of the Multiple there. And she's got GREAT HAIR. "Hi, Mom," Nico says. Wil looks mildly alarmed, but Jason reacts as though he just learned that a kiss from Wilhelmina sets a man's testicles literally on fire. "You're her MOTHER?" he squeaks.

Meanwhile, Bradford and Daniel are having some awkward parental bonding as well, as Bradford tells Daniel to never, ever buy his wife and his mistress the same Christmas gift. He also says that he is truly sorry about Fey. He never wanted his cheating on his wife to hurt his son. "And mom? What about her feelings?" Daniel asks. Bradford shrugs that he was careless and stupid and Fey...Fey wanted to be a Meade. "Is that why you had her killed?" Daniel asks. "Is that what you think?" Bradford asks. Daniel sighs that he doesn't know what he thinks. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asks, opening the music box and taking out the flame-scorched scrap of Fey's license plate. "Tell you what? That I loved her? Because I did," Bradford says. "More than Mom?" Daniel asks. Oh, I can see this all playing out beautifully in the therapist's office in about a year and a half. Bradford adds fuel to the fire by admitting that he loved Fey "more than all the others." Because, you see, he totally slept around. "Who do you think sent you this?" Bradford say, gesturing at the music box, and explaining that it's CLEARLY one of his OTHER ex-lovers. "Out for revenge." He admits that he deserves it: "Not for killing Fey. That I had nothing to do with. But for being a lousy husband and an even lousier father." He really hopes Daniel learns from his cruddy example and settles down for good.

Finally, Betty is leaving the office, getting into the elevator with Henry. Because they are nothing if not adorably awkward together, they start talking at the same time. She eventually manages to thank him for lunch. "For giving you the most stressful lunch ever? First I make you eat slimy sea monsters and then I get you in trouble with you boyfriend?" Henry says, shaking his head. Betty assures him that none of that was his fault, and asks how the Honey Guy is doing. "Not great," Henry grins. He tells her that they're having a party in Accounting for Halloween and invites her to stop by. Betty tells him she's love to go, but...there's that whole boyfriend thing, and she really wants to "give it a chance." Dude! Don't give it a chance! Give yourself the chance to nail the cute accountant! She apologizes, and you can tell she really regrets this. "No worries. Just lunch. Trick or treat, [Latin phrase I can't spell]," Henry says, and leaves. Henry! Don't leave me!

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Ugly Betty




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