Ugly Betty

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
The Lyin', The Watch And The Wardrobe

Amanda is still digging through the candy. "Oh my God. Were you just flirting with Henry from Accounting? I should get like workman's comp or something," she says. Betty protests that she wasn't flirting. "Why? Was he?" she asks. Yes, yes, he was. You both were. And it's moderately adorable. Amanda, in her quest to eat all of Betty's candy, comes across a box at the bottom of her pumpkin. "Oh, Walter puts a surprise in there for me every year. Last year, it was an engraved cell phone holster," Betty says, taking the box. Nothing says "romance" like a cell phone holder. If by "romance," you in fact mean, "I want you to wear this so I can reach you at any moment and be totally clingy and controlling." This year, Walter's surprise is surprising indeed: it's the key to his apartment, wrapped in a Post-It asking her to move in with him. Amanda cocks an interested brow and tosses a Skittle in her mouth.

After the ads, we go down to the Closet, where Christina is pooh-poohing the whole Move In Together thing, seeing as Walter and Betty have just gotten back together. "And let's face it, he is the boy that dumped you for the neighborhood hootchie," she points out. Christina says the word "hootchie" the way my mother would say the word "mash-up." Betty points out that Walter has really tried to win her back, and that he always remembers her birthday and brings her soup when she's sick. Christina doesn't look all that impressed, probably because remembering your birthday and, like, not slapping you across the face when you've got the flu are the bare minimum requirements for being a decent boyfriend rather than facts to shout from the rooftops. Betty admits that he's also the only man she's ever slept with. While it is certainly hard to break it off with the man to whom you surrendered your precious flower (if you loved him), nine times out of ten, it happens, and it's for the best. Unless you lost your virginity to George Clooney, in which I suggest you hang on like grim death. Betty tells Christina that she doesn't want to say "no" now, and risk losing Walter forever. Wisely, Christina points out that's a terrible reason to say yes, and that Betty is pretty inexperienced. "He might turn out to be the first pancake. The practice one. The one you toss away," she says. "I don't toss away pancakes," Betty notes. Christina doesn't point out that Betty probably doesn't stop at the first one (AKA Walter), either, and instead says that since Betty has just gotten out of her "cocoon," Christina thinks that she should "spread her wings a wee bit" and see what's out there. And who's out there. Betty just says she has to go find the watch, but Christina exhorts her to really get on out there! Chase a few more flowers! "Flit!" Betty looks askance at this last one. "Flit! It's what butterflies do," Christina explains. "Oh. I thought you were cursing at me in Scottish," Betty says.

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Ugly Betty




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