Ugly Betty

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
You're Not The One For Me, Fatty

Betty and Amanda walk to work, Betty excitedly chattering about the new Mode issue, themed "Eye Of The Fashion Storm." Amanda, noting Betty as having the look of someone with a handle on science, asks why tornados always hit "shantytowns"; she offers the possibility that God just hates poor people. Betty's not feeling that, and changes the subject back to the eye of the fashion storm, particularly the one she's in the center of: a cute T-shirt with a pink skull, high-waisted herringbone pattern skirt, a cool Chanelesque midlength jacket, a funny '30s hat, and white gloves. She looks awesome, and not in the "awesomely fucked-up" way of late, but actually like the cute girl she could be. Amanda calls her a "plus-size princess" and says dressing Betty up in the clothes from Amanda's "hefty years" is like playing dressup with a big squishy doll. She fawns all over Betty and begs to do it every day. Say yes! Amanda looks about sixteen feet tall in a big faux-fur coat and ruffly headmistress dress with puffed sleeves. Marilla Cuthbert wouldn't be impressed, of course, but Blair Waldorf would approve.

Betty, as usual, reacts negatively to the idea of dressing like an actual person and not the nightmares of clowns, and changes the subject to the big Meade retreat at Talmadge Hall. She paints a word-Bosch about some horrific doings in the woods such as "sharing ideas" and telling "anecdotes," and Amanda correctly identifies this as being fantastic in an amount equal to having a scorching herpes outbreak. Betty's phone rings and she hands Amanda her bagel, which promptly goes in the trash ("It's for ya own good!" Amanda shouts hilariously), and answers her phone. Whatever it is, it's bad news, but it also makes her smile so big you can smell the lox in her braces.

Betty runs into Daniel's office and says that the issue's final approval has to be pushed back, because there's been a problem at the printer's. Daniel is crestfallen like a boy in love, because that means he won't get to ride in Connor's awesome car and have awesome Connor adventures and be in the "fun car." You know what the "fun car" is? Whatever Claire's doing. That broad is always ten times weirder when she's bored. Betty offers to do it, in a rehearsed way, and Daniel kind of blows her off because it's a huge deal, but she assures him that, having watched him do it a billion times, she's in control. He admits she is sort of terrifyingly OCD -- she prefers "helpful," which is one word for what she is -- and he tells her to go for it, which of course engenders a total whooping freakout.

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Ugly Betty




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