Ugly Betty

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Jessica: B- | Grade It Now!
Trust, Lust And Must

The next morning, Betty runs through her Herbalux sales pitch to a very proud looking Hilda. I note with amusement that Betty is wearing a polka dot blouse. Enjoy it while you can, sister. Hilda tells Betty not to be afraid to stick herself out there and really SELL SELL SELL. Betty pastes on a fake smile. "Tired of sticking your finger down your throat? Want to lose weight the easy way? Ask me HOW!" she sasses. Hilda just tells her that that's a good line, and she might steal it. She then ruins the lines of Betty's heinous top by pinning on a giant button that reads "LOSE 10 POUND IN 10 DAYS." Betty sighs, and wonders if she can go to work and humiliate herself now. Hilda -- clearly really thrilled by this entire arrangement -- just reminds her to sell the appetite suppressant BEFORE lunch. "HAPPY HERBALUXING!" she calls after her.

When she gets to the office, Betty strolls right up to Marc, and announces that she thinks she has something that might interest him. "Unless it's Taye Diggs covered in baby oil, I doubt it," he responds. Okay, two things: (1) Hells, YES. Taye Diggs is hot; and (2) Enough with the cross promotion, ABC. We know Taye has a new show out. I've seen about 98 ads for it in the last fifteen minutes. Betty launches into some long spiel about science and herbs and Marc looks up to tell her to beat it, and then reads her Giant Button. "Ten pounds? Reach for the stars!" he chirps. Wil comes over at this point and reminds him that he has phone calls to make for her. "Work those halls, you little diet diva," Marc whispers to Betty, and scampers into Wil's office. Wil glares at Betty, who offers a weak smile in return.

"I don't like it when she smiles. It's too metallic," Wil says when she gets into her office with Marc. He shrugs that it seems Betty wants to earn "a few extra pesos." "Interesting," Wil drawls, and tucks that info away to use at a later date. She asks Marc for the update on Operation Boarding School. It appears that most of Europe is uninterested in Nico, but they're waiting to hear from one final school in Paris. Wil tells him to get the Parisians on the phone, and Marc gets up and starts to go. Almost at the door, he turns back and tells her that Daniel has pushed his meeting with Wil because he has another meeting in Bradford's office. "Editors in Chief only," he tells her hesitantly. "I'm sure Skippy's holding his own," Wil snaps.

For once, Wil is wrong. Skippy is not holding his own. In fact, I imagine that the last time Skippy held his own was this morning in the shower when he -- never mind. Anyway, Daniel sees Salma, in a hot red dress, give an old dude a cup of coffee. "My pleasure," Salma coos to Baldy. Daniel saunters over to the coffee station and leans "seductively" on the table. "I like mine black. Two sugars," he says, in a way that I'm sure he thinks is suave. Salma has the grace to look moderately amused. "You want me to get you coffee?" she asks. And Daniel's all, isn't that why you're here? "And what gave it away? Was it my accent?" Salma asks. Daniel retorts that is was actually the fact that she's the only one there who doesn't edit a Meade Publication. There is some awkward flirting -- seriously, if Daniel flirts like this all the time, there's no way he gets as much ass as the show otherwise implies -- some of which seems to be equating Mode's circulation with the size of his manhood, and then mercifully Salma shut him down by IDing him as the only EIC in the room who was "born into his job." While she, of course, is the newest EIC in the Meade stable, helming a new weekly targeting the "empowered modern woman." She's also the author of a best-selling book, Making Your Man a Bottom. I can not believe they got away with that title in the 8 PM timeslot. Once Bradford has finished introducing Salma, she smiles and gives stupid, sexy Daniel a cup of coffee. He groans.

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Ugly Betty




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