Ugly Betty

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B- | Grade It Now!
Trust, Lust And Must

Hilda is shilling Herbalux outside "Ms Tone," a gym in Queens. The owner or manager or whomever comes out and really reads her the riot act about working his sidewalk. They bicker and he threatens to call the cops. "And what could you possibly tell them?" Debi Mazer asks, strolling into frame. He says that it doesn't concern her; she, of course, being an Empowered Modern Woman tells Crabby McGym to apologize to Hilda and rattles off a whole load of statutes and yadda about the freedom to assemble. Hilda is totally impressed, and so am I: Debi rules, and Crabby is nonplussed. "You can forget about your free towel," he brats to Debi, and leaves. Hilda is impressed, and Debi -- or as her name is here, Leah -- hands over her business card and confides that those statutes really only apply to disabled veterans. Hilda is thrilled to meet a lawyer. What fantastic timing! It is at this moment that Betty calls with the news that their mother is wearing a wedding ring in the Mysterious Photo, despite the fact that their parents were not yet married when the picture was snapped. Hilda rolls her eyes and tells Betty to stop playing Nancy Drew and start selling all those potentially dangerous herbal supplements she's got in her backpack. Betty confesses that, indeed, she has sold a mere ten bucks worth. "Great. Dad can buy a set of maracas when he's sent back to Mexico," Hilda snaps, and informs her sister that she is on her way over to Meade to show her how it's done! Betty is predictably horrified.

Back at the office, Wil is on a clandestine phone call with Fey. At least, I presume it's clandestine. Maybe Wil screams, "MARC! Get Fey Sommers on the line NOW!" And everyone at Mode just averts her eyes, because they think Wil is delusional. She's hiding in plain sight. Anyway, Wil is telling Fey that everything with Nico is fine, like Fey gives a damn. Speaking of, I can't wait until it comes to pass that this isn't actually Fey, but someone else entirely, and I have to come up with another name for her. At any rate, the point of this incredibly short scene -- although there will be no complaints about its brevity here -- is that Wil wonders how Bradford plans to "celebrate this special day," and Fey goes, "I'm sure the way Bradford Meade and Fey Sommers always celebrated their birthdays. TOGETHER." DUM DUM DUM DUM. All I know is, I just love celebrating my birthday with a dead body. As for Fey, she needs to know how Wil plans to fuck with Daniel now that Bradford has smoothed things over with him. Also, she adds, Daniel can't keep getting better at his job. I wouldn't worry too much about that, Corpse-y McDeath. Wil agrees that "The little nugget [I swear that's what she said] remains a threat to our plans. But short of taking a bat to his knees..." Fey likes THAT idea, but Wil thinks what they need to do is exploit the person who's been propping Daniel up all this time. She's about to expound on this when Marc runs in, wheezing. "It’s an emergency. Bergman's. Shoplifting. Nico," he heaves out. Wil looks mildly aggravated.

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Ugly Betty




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