I knew once we lost the French kid the show would remember to be awesome again! What a fun episode. Bonus dorkiness? Hilda/Ignacio's storyline is all about the power of the people as expressed through the democratic process, plus introduces hopefully a new (unmarried!) civil servant cutie-pie for her post-Tony loving. Like, imagine the Henry of Hilda and you have Archie Rodriguez. I'm speaking unspoiled though, so we may never see him again. Hope we do. Also in this story: Justin wearing a humiliating Uncle Sam outfit, which is worth a thousand guffaws.
Okay, so "Associate Editor" Kimmie Keegan is ruling the school Regina George style, so hardcore that she manages to even piss off Marc and Amanda, who are usually drawn to that behavior like flies to shit. Meanwhile, she is also stomping all over Betty's dreams in such a way that it actually makes sense, rather than the plot device crap everybody's been up to of late. After getting screwed over on TV, in front of her family and Lloyd from Fashion Buzz!, Betty gets some hypocritical and -- in the universe of this show -- utterly wrong advice from Daniel about taking the high road. Enter Marc and Amanda, of course. (Dragging Cliff along for about five seconds of "anger eating" and upholstery shame, but seeing where Cliff and Marc have found themselves together deserves its own paragraph, because it is awesome.)
Betty resists Marc and Amanda's various murder plots and schemes to get Kimmie fired, but eventually gives in, sabotaging a photo shoot with Brazilian marblemouth and Rubik's Cube Mastermind Adriamalama Lima Dingdong. Awesomely, the sabotage involves telling Kimmie that Wilhelmina Slater only respects people who challenge her authority! Awesome, right? At the last second, of course, Betty gives in and tries to reverse her sabotage, only to have Kimmie accuse her of now oozing jealous, bitter ooze, and then laying a mind-blowingly beautiful amount of bitchy-glorious 'tude at Wili's door that ends in a frantically insane Kimmie getting bodily carried away, and Betty saving the day thanks to some sweet-natured advice from the always-wonderful Val Emmich across the hall, who is finally back.
But the coolest thing is the Daniel/Wili plot, which involves them rebelling together like siblings against Claire's very even-handed advice to get a new CFO -- apparently Alexis's best quality was her understanding of the bottom line, and Mode has become an endangered species. Wili bumps into the hottest Australian export since the Andamooka black opal, a well-respected publishing professional named Connor Owens. He's thinking of making a jump, but laughs off her offer to become the CFO citing historical personal issues with Daniel. Wili makes the offer and they take the meeting, but Daniel's become withdrawn and sullen... So she's all the more surprised when he's convinced by her logic to offer Connor the job, although he did just give Betty a whole speech about not being a dick. At the last second, Connor -- who turns Betty on even more than Cute Hallway Guy, and she's not alone in that -- drags Daniel aside to discuss the job offer... And they dap, because they are bros, and the whole thing was a massive con to fuck with Wili! This show is effing back.
Until our full weecap is posted on Monday, look back at Betty's soapiest moments.
Betty heads into work as she talks on the phone with Hilda, carrying a plate of jelly donuts for some reason. Hilda's all trying to get inside her head so she'll hate Kimmie Kegan even more than usual, because Hilda is, in this episode, completely disgusting. She talks about Kimmie putting a "steak knife" in Betty's back, and calls her something that "rhymes with bizatch." Sigh. Betty's like, "Um okay L'il Hilda, but I am no longer as of this moment a spineless naïve idiot." We shall see. Kimmie's sitting at Betty's desk getting a makeover due to her being the Mode Whore-On-The-Street/Associate Editor, and the stylist blow-dryers the powdered sugar from the donuts all over Betty's stupid clothes, and then Daniel shows up and they climb all over each other kissing his ass, as Kimmie reveals she's going to lunch with somebody from French Vogue. Betty counters with a call from Daniel's plumber, and Daniel high-fives Kimmie about her latest coup or whatever, and sends Betty to get them both breakfast, which Kimmie, of course, calls "brekky," because she is repulsive.
Betty drops the brekky on the table with a high amount of snottiness and Kimmie promises to let her know if she needs anything else. Betty points out that Kimmie can eat a dick, only she says it more like, "If you need anything else, you can get it yourself, because I work for Daniel." Kimmie points out her business cards in their beautiful shiny business card box, and how they say Associate Editor, and Betty, who in addition to being fea remains débil de voluntad, totally falls for her bullshit. Again. "Um, we have like a thousand Associate Editors?" To which the only response you could possibly give, Kimmie does: "And your fucking business card says what?" Nothing, because she has none, because in addition to being the Meade family tennis ball and the entire building's whipping girl, she also self-sabotages like a motherfucker.
Kimmie illustrates their circumstances with a handy hand-graph: "Editor, assistant to editor. Editor, assistant. I have gotten higher in two weeks than you have in two years. Don't you pretty much think you'll be an assistant forever?" Yes. She will be. She will also be fat and ugly and have braces forever, because no matter how unlikely any of that would be in real life, it's the show. I mean how great would it be if the show was still called Ugly Betty, and all the late-night comedians were like, "Ugly my ass! No grapes, no nuts!" I feel like that might happen one day when this show becomes interesting again, because something that off-the-beam is what's required at this point. On the other hand, this is probably a better episode than most or all of last season, so I'm not bitching. Anyway, blah blah, Kimmie is totally right, Betty remembers that she forgot that she sucks, and then continues to suck by running off crying instead of punching Lindsay Lohan in the box.