Ugly Betty

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Killing Kimmie Kegan

*(I can't decide whether to puke or cheer about all of this. It's condescending, but probably necessary, and I can't think of a better show to get this message across, since it's the only one on TV besides Grey's with a diverse enough cast to include substantial Latino characters in the first place, and Grey's is all rich people fucking anyway, so: I guess so. On the other hand, and more honestly and in a way that has nothing to do with politics: this is so retarded it's awesome.)

Marc and Amanda are kissing Kimmie's ass like whoa about the freaky fruity decorations for the shoot, which are like these giant floating pieces of dream fruit or something that are supposed to evoke Adriana Lima's childhood memories of sizzling hot tico berries, and Kimmie's dumbness crops up in a kind of funny, weird and not-so-believable way: "It's Surirealism. This thing Tom Cruise's daughter invented?" Marc goes after the necklace eventually, like, "Hate it! Did that giant fruit fall off Carmen Miranda's haaaaat?" Kimmie's a bit nervous, but looking great: her eyes look lovelier in this scene than maybe ever. Amanda and Marc spend some time naming berries, including the repugnant Halle Berry, and Amanda finally pulls the trigger: "This must be Betty's idea, because it suuuucks." Kimmie worries, and they turn the awesome force of their crazy eyes on her; she falls for it and runs over to the stylists all, "Get it off her neck! It's hurting my eyes!" Marc and Amanda give Betty the go-ahead: "We set her up, you knock her down." Betty wonders silently what will happen with her eyes bugging out, because she has no spine or independent thoughts anymore, because Meade has finally taken her spark and she is like the rest: dead inside.

**(Before you get excited, no, it's not the Marvel Comics editor from the '80s. I want to be clear on that: It's the other one. I know, I was excited too. But this one's cuter.)

In the limo on the way to the shoot, Wili offers to call Connor and turn him down, sadly, and the distracted and hilariously pissy and insolent Daniel offers to give him the bad news. "So. How'd you like to come run the business down at Meade? Great." He hangs up and Wilhelmina is surprised and touched. She thanks him for putting his ego aside and respecting her on this, and maybe you're smarter than me but I was kind of moved by all this, because Daniel Maturing has been a big theme on this show, but this season is all about bringing strong women down because we hate them, so that theme wins. Daniel sighs, grossed out, and stares out the window, and Wili's like "Damn."

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Ugly Betty

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