Ugly Betty

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Cook Like Betty Crocker/Look Like Donna Reed

Betty's got some decent clothes happening -- giant Minnie Mouse bow notwithstanding -- when Amanda summons her with a tiny handbell to the bathtub, where she's lounging in a mountain of delightful bubbles. One-room apartment + clawfoot tub + Amanda's total lack of boundaries = Hilarity. She explains that she got the bell for Halston, but he's a bad doggie and doesn't come when she rings it -- whereas Betty comes running. "You're a good dog!" Amanda says, tickling Betty's tummy with the loofah, and Betty puts her foot down in what are no doubt sensible shoes. She tries to clarify for Amanda that she is not her assistant -- while simultaneously advising her of her schedule for the day and picking up her random bras and panties strewn about the place -- and Amanda assures her she thinks of her more as a roommate... And a maid. She asks Betty to fetch her some coffee, and she replies that it's not her job...

Cut to Betty happily fetching coffee for Daniel, because that actually is her job. She has also jacked a hideous clown jacket and stupid red beret over her formerly cute outfit, because... Maybe she resents fashion as a synecdoche for hating her life, and thus seeks to wound it at any opportunity. Around the corner is Leo/Nick Pepper, that sleazy-sexiest assistant guy from Mode that she got into the dick-swinging fight with at the Renaissance Faire restaurant back when Henry and his sick body were still around. Turns out he left with Alexis and has since pulled a Ryan the Temp thanks to the leg up provided by YETI (the Young Editor's Training Initiative) and now has his own assistant. Betty seems to think the program is like Hogwarts for getting out of being an assistant, and he assures her that this is the case. Sparkly music of Betty's dreams, cloudy weird light in her eyes, and it's done. She informs Daniel that he'll be sponsoring her, and asks for a recommendation letter (<1 page), and he gets that "I am going to completely flake and it's going to be sad" face he gets when you count on him.

Wili spots Connor canoodling with darling Molly ("Gross!" she yells to herself, awesomely) and tries to run away, but gets caught talking to them gross couple. Wili calls her "coltish" what with her hair in a ponytail, and Molly tells her that she's got some kind of Native American coming to visit her school class, so Wili half-heartedly talks shit about her pathetic life for a second before pulling a total Girl World maneuver and inviting her to a future brunch together.

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Ugly Betty




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