Ugly Betty

Episode Report Card
Montykins: C- | 425 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Claire Witch Project
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We open up on the sight of someone making fresh pomegranate juice. Pomegranates are sliced, seeds are disposed of, and pulp is blended, all to create a fresh glass of yucky pomegranate juice. It seems like a lot of work to me, especially since (as hinted in the previous sentence) I happen to think that pomegranate juice is yucky. Also, pomegranates are responsible for winter, if I remember my Greek mythology correctly. Betty is astonished that Ignacio will be drinking pomegranate juice, as am I. Betty can't drink it, and I don't think that's the only thing in this episode that will be hard to swallow. Hey now!

Elena charms Hilda, Justin, and Betty with her stories of horrifying Beverly Hills residents who have had plastic surgery. It's a good thing there's no one like that in New York!

Ignacio rolls in and claims to be excited about going for a morning walk. Betty and Hilda are astonished and make sure to pour out their gross pomegranate juice as soon as Elena and Ignacio are out of sight. They start to talk about how great Elena is, but Betty has a call from Claire Meade, who wants her to bring some cash to a drug store. She's been detained for shoplifting a tube of lipstick. My suggestion is that if you're going to shoplift, you should wear something less obtrusive, instead of this all-the-primary-colors-at-once number. Betty tries to defend Claire but eventually just coughs up twenty four bucks to get them out of the security guard's office.

Mode offices! Daniel is shocked and appalled! Betty thinks Claire is acting out for some reason, which makes Daniel realize that Claire's sixtieth birthday is next week. Daniel needs an assistant to keep track of this sort of thing. I bet Marc goes around to the entire building to make sure Wilhelmina's birthday is observed with the appropriate amount of pomp, circumstance, and not asking how old she is. Betty suggests a surprise party, which Daniel thinks is a great idea. Betty also wants to make a tribute video, which he's not too into. We see some of the Meade home movies (which have been digitized at some point) featuring Young Daniel and Young Alex, but the focus is on Drunk Claire knocking over the Christmas tree. We don't get to see "the Fourth of July barbecue-in-the-pool spectacular", which makes me feel cheated. I like spectacles as much as the next guy. And Betty is not dissuaded. She proposes that she be lent a video camera so she can get Claire's friends to say nice things that can then be edited into a warm, friendly video.

Enter Claire! She is wearing some kind of tartan deal that looks a lot like something Betty would wear, except for the fox stole apparently superglued to the shoulders. It looks hard to wrap around you like that. Claire tries to schedule a dinner with Daniel, but he's got to go do something with Molly. Exit Claire, disappointed!

Ugly Betty