Previously on Ugly Betty: Okay, remember this show? It's tough, I know. So, many months ago we learned that Gene Simmons was Amanda's father! Claire was out of jail and ready to launch Hot Flash magazine. Wili inseminated Christina with some frozen Bradford Meade sperm, and appears to be holding her hostage until the baby is born. Daniel met a hot little number named Renee, who just happened to be Wili's sister. Wili hinted at ominous things in Renee's past. Hilda totally called Gio on having a mad Betty crush, but Betty of course only had (four) eyes for Henry, even though he impregnated Charlie, and not with Bradford's frozen swimmers.
Betty's alarm goes off at 7:30. Or does it? Turns out, she's actually in a Mary Poppins-esque dreamland. Her creepy-ass germ infested dust-mite laden teddy bear is with her. And so is Henry! He's in a horse drawn carriage and tells Betty that she's going to have the best birthday of her life. They kiss until the stars and fireworks come out. And then her actual alarm goes off. Oh, how I've missed that headgear! Ignacio and Hilda -- whose hair is totally different -- wish Betty a happy birthday, and Justin loves Betty's Louis Vuitton bag until she tells him it's a fake. Justin has, like, totally hit puberty during the writers' strike. He's going to be replaced at any moment by Danny Noriega. Though Betty said she didn't want gifts, Justin blinged out her cell phone, which she loves. Turns out Betty has the day off, and she and Henry have a big weekend away planned. She rushes out the door, leaving Ignacio sullen that she forgot to take her cupcakes. I hope "cupcakes" isn't the Suarez family euphemism for various forms of contraception.
Elsewhere, Wili pays Daniel an early morning visit to warn him about Renee. She has a "history with men," says Wili, and becomes needy, erratic, and excessive. Renee hasn't dealt with all of her daddy issues as well as old spermsicle Wili has, I guess. Daniel refuses to believe it, and Wili ominously says, "Stony Brook." "Stony Brook" is the new "rosebud." When Daniel shuts the door on her, Marc emerges from the hall to compliment her on 1) her performance; 2) her rack. Renee is a loose cannon, and Wili can't have that, especially with what she has planned.