Elizabethan-era harpsichord riffs play as Heath parks himself on the quad, dressed as Shakespeare and busking for donations. "This brave o'erhanging firmament, why, it's brought nothing to me but vile and pestilent congregation of vapor," he orates. Heath isn't so much a natural actor as he is a natural Brit, but that does help with Shakespeare, I suppose. Because I'm a brat, I looked up this quote from Hamlet to check its accuracy, and sadly, Heath needeth to tweaketh his memorization skills. But he's got the look down pat, sporting a red hat with a feather, and a shirt that looks remarkably like some curtains my grandmother owned in the '70s. A girl swoons, "That was exquisite. I almost cried." Heath delicately invites her to make a donation. "I don't have any money," she smiles wetly. "But can't you do it again?" Through gritted teeth, Heath recites, "I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth."
Steve thumps on Dave's front door, screaming desperately for delivery of their new papers. He can't fathom why Dave isn't answering, being somewhat of an agoraphobe. Suddenly, a silhouette darts past the window and Steve jumps. "He's in there. We know you're in there!" yells Steve. The lights abruptly go out, a superb tactical maneuver by the sharp-as-butter Dave. Steve decides to climb through a conveniently open window, and over Lizzie's protests, Rachel follows. Inside, Dave halts in the hallway, then darts into a bedroom. Lizzie frets that breaking and entering is somehow illegal, but Rachel hisses that she needs her damn paper and that's that. Steve tenses, spotting motion. "Maybe it was a cat," offers Lizzie. "Meow," Dave calls from the hallway. Lizzie starts clucking for the cat until Steve groans, "That was him." Okay, we're definitely dipping into territory that strays somewhat from my own college memories.









Comments