This week's recap is brought to you by the letters O and G, and the number one -- for without Omar G's tape and the quick work of the U.S. Postal Service, I wouldn't have seen the entire episode. So say it with me: Omar's #1! Omar's #1!
For newbies who need a bit of backstory: Lizzie loves her possessive and quirky high-school sweetheart Eric, but after a fight with him in the pilot, she slept with Steven. We haven't seen the aftermath episode, but we presume they agreed to keep it a secret from Eric; indeed, Steven even helped Eric win back Lizzie in a killer episode called "Eric Visits."
We open this week with a shot of Steven sitting on his bed, swatting the laptop that's balanced on his legs. It's misbehaving. It needs a spanking. It's got to be a Dell. "How do you expect to take over mankind if you keep crashing?" Steven groans at it. His paper is saved to a disk, but it's due tomorrow and Lizzie is supposed to do "questions and comments" on it, and they can't if Steven's computer is on the fritz. I wonder if "questions and comments" is a class-related thing, or if one of them devised it as a way of spending time with the other. I'm looking in your direction, Steven. Lizzie bounces into the room and chirps, "Ready for 'questions and comments'?" Steve sadly says that his computer is experiencing a mild brain hemorrhage. "Ohhhh, poor Karpy!" coos Lizzie through her nose, petting him and feeding him a carrot and sugar cubes. She offers to "q-and-c" it on her computer, grabbing the fluorescent green disk with a Supergirl smile. "Dude, you're the best," Karpy-poo says gratefully. That's so sweet. I think that's inscribed on my mother's wedding ring. He begs Lizzie not to lose the disk, because it's the only working copy of the paper that he's got. "Steve, would a friend lose it?" Lizzie sighs, scolding him teasingly. Karpy-Schmarpy grins as she leaves, then notices Heath snickering at the two of them. "Oh, poor Karpy!" he mimics. The Karp-enter of Love doesn't appreciate this. "You're ridiculous," Heath decides. "We're friends," Karpo Marx insists. Heath contends that his pal is erecting all kinds of obstacles to a potential romance, so that when it comes time to erect his trouser-tent pole with her once again, The Complex Karpohydrate feels a greater sense of accomplishment. And if that's not the case, well, Heath will just decide that his roommate's a wimp. The Karper ponders this, perplexed.
A laminator churns out a poster for Master Joel's martial arts school.