Shaggy, Ron, and Heath sit casually in the Frosh Pit, waiting for some shit to happen so that they can build a drinking game around it. Lizzie appears. "Eric knows," she says frantically. They play dumb for some reason, as if she might be talking about the zit she hid from him last week, or the answer to that pesky math problem about trains A and B. "Hey baby," breathes Eric, suddenly right behind her. Lizzie spins around and tries to act like everything is normal. "Hey baby," she gulps, spying the Goon Squad. "The whole gang's here." Eric sets his jaw and stares icily at his girlfriend. "So how was having sex with Steven?" he inquires politely. Lizzie denies it vehemently, claiming that Rachel was misinformed. "She's drunk half the time and she's always lying," Lizzie stammers. Ha. Eric looks past her into the Frosh Pit. "They do it?" he asks the posse. In a remarkable series of unconvincing denials, the trio proclaims its ignorance -- words collide, hands fly around, and the gang generally confirms that people on television invariably lie ineptly, unless they're marked as The Evil Characters.
Steven chooses this moment to mosey out of the shower, wrapped in his fluffy blue robe, clad in orange boxers, and toting a blue shower caddy that looks somewhat more like a Nine West purse. "Hey, Eric," he says, cheerfully. "How was sexual intercourse with my girlfriend, Steven?" Eric asks, calmly, his mouth-foam calming down to a barely perceptible simmer. Steven's jaw hits the floor and knocks loose the linoleum. "You told him?" he shrieks at Lizzie, sprouting breasts because he is so thoroughly Busted. Eric convulses himself into a right old tizzy, whipping around and pointing haphazardly at Lizzie and the gang, trying to choke out words but failing because a keg of bile in his throat is impeding all speech. Heath shoots up to his feet, somehow figuring this will help. He looks worried for Steven's health. "I'm gonna beat you up so bad," Eric calmly informs Steven. "And I'm gonna LOVE it!" Steven starts to tremble. "No," he protests feebly, dropping his shower purse and running down the hall. "Bring the ruckus, boy!" bellows Eric. Steven runs smack into a guy in the hallway, knocking him to the ground, then escapes through a doorway through which Eric follows. Eric looks to be roughly three steps behind Steven. Run, Steven, or he'll drain your blood to make a toner cartridge!













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