Last week, Steve and Lizzie slept together; this week, we've skipped the embarrassing "let's be friends" conversation and the "I've got an obsessive boyfriend" reveal, jumping straight to the platonic friendship with kernels of longing on one side and oblivion on the other. Steve strolls across campus with Lizzie, who carries an envelope under one arm. She says it contains a calendar from her boyfriend, who constantly sends her the fruits of his extremely craft-centric labor. "He manages a copy shop, so he's really good with all the equipment," she explains, as if to dig any deeper would expose something faintly uncomfortable about her relationship. Steve flips through the calendar, which contains one photo of Lizzie as Mona Lisa, another with Lizzie and Eric in old-time garb, and a third with them in Halloween costumes. "He really goes all-out," Steve says politely, which is nice-boy language for "He's terminally insane." Lizzie agrees, but carps, "It's like, has he ever heard of chocolate and flowers?" Steve grabs a rectangular card designed like a dollar bill, but with Eric's face in the center and four lipstick marks where a dollar value would be. Stamped "National Bank of Eric," the bill promises the bearer "one gigantic smooch when I see you." And he cleverly laminated it so that no one will mistake it for real currency, which comes in doubly handy if she tries any funny business, like stuffing it down a stripper's g-string. Steve grins that he'll be sure to hold onto this coupon. Then he tries to sell me a Toyota for a very low monthly payment and zero APR. No, shit! I sat on the remote. My ass turned on the WB; had this been the Sunday night lineup, that would've been nicely apropos. When we return to Undeclared after this terrible mishap, Lizzie is expressing uncertainty about her future with Eric, who she's dated since tenth grade. "Don't you think I should see what else is out there?" she asks Steve, begging him to make the tough decisions for her. Steve, knowing exactly what's out there for her because he's seen it in the shower every morning since he was wee, tries to mask his excitement with a contemplative nod. "Yeah, maybe you need a little break or something," he downplays. "It's like Sting said, 'If you love someone, set them free.'" Lizzie stops and stares at him, inspired. "That's it!" she decides. "I'm gonna break up with Eric tonight. But you'd better be around to support me afterward, because I'm gonna be a mess!" Steve wears a look of sympathetic assent, until she's well ahead of him and he can fire up the celebratory groove -- which, sadly, resembles nothing so much as slalom skiing, but whatever. Sometimes people are different.
Episode Report CardHeathen: B+ | 487 USERS: C+
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