Undeclared
Undeclared

Episode Report Card
Heathen: B+ | 1094 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
God Visits

Apparently, Shaggy's connections in the housing office are none other than P.B. and the Samoan. I had expected it to be Perry, since he turns up everywhere and does everything and nothing, but oh well. I'm just as happy with these loons. Rachel begs P.B. and the Samoan to make Larice's application vanish, but the Samoan is afraid of getting fired. Shaggy -- blatantly wearing a pink-and-electric-blue-plaid shirt yet making no apologies for it -- leans forward and begs them to reconsider. As a bribe, he offers them his most prized possession -- a compilation tape of 250 nude scenes he's taped from cable stations since he was eight. It's his lifelong project, and he's sacrificing it for the Poochy Party Palace. How tender. P.B. excitedly asks who's in it. "Holly Hunter," grins Shaggy. The Samoan looks repulsed. Rachel panics, sensing their plan is about to implode on Holly's scrawny back. Shaggy tries again, this time offering Katie Holmes, Ashley Judd, and Richard Gere, "if that's your thing." P.B. and the Samoan exchange decidedly not-repulsed glances, because anyone who got Ronned by a gerbil is okay with them. "Jamie Lee Curtis, Trading Places," Shaggy continues. "Must've been cold that day, know what I'm saying?" They all laugh brightly. The Samoan wants Alyssa Milano, and Shaggy gleefully says he got all her best stuff from Poison Ivy 2 without any of the painful plot. Rachel's all, "Whoaaaaa!" to convey how impressed she is, and to amp up the supposed value of the video.

Cut to P.B. and the Samoan shredding Larice's application while watching Shaggy's tape. "Holy mother of God," gapes the Samoan, drooling.

Lizzie finds Steven, and isn't repelled by his maroon vest. "Heyyyy," she drawls flirtatiously. "I haven't seen you in forever! How are you?" Steven beams that he's absolutely fantastic. He's resplendent and transcendent. He's scrumtrilescent. Lizzie coquettishly asks him out to dinner so that they can catch up on each other's lives, and genitals. "I would, but I've got to get to the VA hospice to read to some veterans," he says. She's stunned. "That's so nice of you!" she exclaims. Steven smiles and pats her on the shoulder. "You know, it was nice of them to fight in a war for us," he tells her pleasantly. As he leaves, Lizzie lets her mild frustration show a bit, never having had anyone turn down a silver platter of her breasts before.

Undeclared

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