Just then, Shaggy enters with Kikuki in tow, dispensing baked goods to Heath and Ron. That crazy Japanese girl hands out cookies like an Asian Mrs. Fields. "Here we go again with the cookies!" Shaggy says, clearly mystified but speaking in perky tones the way you do to a baby when you know they can't understand your words but will respond to your tone of voice. So you can say things like, "Daddy needs to get off his fat ass and change the diapers," but you say it nicely, and the baby gurgles and smiles. And then spits up on your shirt. Kikuki is that gurgling, puking baby. "Isn't she cute?" coos Shaggy, kissing Kikuki's cheek. "Cutie Kikuki!" She giggles foreignly. ["Is it significant that MS Word's spell-check suggested 'Kabuki' for 'Kikuki'?" -- Sars]
Rachel bounds across the hall looking for Shaggy, and stops short when she sees him with a breasted appendage. Rachel, it should be noted, is either wearing a more heavily padded bra than usual, or Monica Keena had some things retooled under there. Because she looks bigger, and in the previous episodes, she looked perky but heavily, heavily pushed up. Who knows. Rachel stares confusedly at the new couple, while Ron waxes poetic about the glories of Shaggy finding a girl who speaks no English. "It's like you found the perfect girl!" he crows, waving his hands in front of her face as if the language barrier also blocks hand gestures. Shaggy whips out the electronic translator Kikuki gave him -- they have his and hers models, a male and female voice -- and uses it to tell Kikuki that she's cute. She is happy. "It's like we're on the cutting edge of dating!" Shaggy exclaims. "It's like we're on a chat page but we're standing right here." Rachel flinches. Shaggy brings Kikuki into his room while Ron grins merrily at his action-starved roommate, who is clearly getting some foreign tail.
Rachel saunters up to Ron and sputters that it'll never last. "She's got the boobs of a six-year-old, and she's, like, dumb," she bitches. Then Dumb Rachel starts whistling because the water's boiling. Heath pipes up absently that it's wrong to assume a dumb girl wouldn't be Shaggy's perfect mate. "Yeah, and I don't even think she's dumb, necessarily," adds Ron. "She just seems dumb because she's foreign. Like [Heath]." Heath glares at his laughing roommate. "I'm gonna hurt you when you least expect it," he says calmly.













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