Judd Apatow is an unlucky man. First, NBC mistreats Freaks & Geeks. Then Fox orders up a full slate of Undeclared episodes, only to pull back on that decision. What rankles me -- and believe you me, I'm rankled -- is that Fox gave this show an impossible time slot, ran it irregularly, and expected it to pull in the young viewers already in a tizzy about choosing between Buffy and Gilmore Girls. This gives new meaning to the phrase, "Crazy like a Fox." Meanwhile, Fox gives nine lives to long-dead cats like Ally McBeal and The X-Files. This gives new meaning to the phrase, "Stupid like a Fox!" When you have a critical darling like Undeclared, assholes, you have to give it a chance. Play ball with the time slot. Fuck, if Three Sisters and Yes, Dear can exist, then Undeclared should already have been picked up for five years. And because I'm hardly an impartial recapper -- I don't hide that I love the show -- I hope people will check out the forums, which contain contact information for people at Fox who might be able to save the show, or at the very least, upon whom your angry letters will become a huge burden. And now, I'll breathe deep and try to write the recap, choking back my ire. I HATE FOX. Seriously, don't you think Undeclared could work on Sunday nights? FOX = Fuck Off, X-Files.
Ahem. Last time, Steven was teased into a tizzy and decided to join a frat, where he felt he would be truly appreciated. Samm Levine guest-starred as the sage of Theta Delta Zeta; a tall brunette, Brandi, led the Little Sisters, along with Natasha Melnick (Cindy of F&G) and a blond named Jana. Lizzie joined their brothel, and Shaggy, Ron, and Heath failed to save Steven from selling himself. Once Steve was a pledge, though, Samm started treating him like crap.
At 3:18 AM, Steven snoozes peacefully in his room. The telephone rings, but he ignores it; on the second or third ring, Heath growls that Steven had better get up and answer the damn thing. Leaping out of bed, as if he's scared of being late, Steven runs into the common room.
In the darkness of the Frosh Pit, Steven throws on a sailor hat and starts hopping up and down while chanting into the phone. "Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, Sir or Madam, whatever the case may be," he begins. "I am but a lowly pledge of the Theta Delta Zeta fraternity." The next line is "lower than a whale crab," according to the captioners, but I'm thinking it's actually "whale crap." Do whales crap? Or get crabs? Eh, it doesn't matter. Steven also explains that he's "stinkier than a fart," and adds that until he makes the pledge list, "in me beats no heart." He's jumping the entire time. As he chants, Heath appears in the doorway and watches with his arms crossed, irritated. Ron and Shaggy yawn and stagger into the room as well, flipping on the light. Now illuminated, we see that Steven is clad in a giant cloth diaper with the word "JACKASS" scrawled on his chest in red. His friends look ashamed for him. "Oh, you've GOT to be kidding me, Steve," Shaggy groans. Steven listens to his caller. "A car wash? Now, sir?" he asks. "No, I'm not complaining! I'm still hopping. Yeah, I can get some car wax, sure." Heath angrily heaves a ball at Steven's head; Steven ducks and it hits the window. Ron lobs an empty water bottle at Steven, succeeding in knocking him off his balance. All parties retreat, leaving Steven alone with his Huggies.