Hal and Debra explain to a confused Steven that they're staying separated for the time being. "At least we're together [now], right?" Steven says with a touch of disappointment. Hal also looks sad, but the trio hugs anyway. Then Ron sprints past. "If you see Amanda, tell her I fell. Hard. Off something high," he screams. "And I'm hurt, very hurt." Ron, it's okay. Once Amanda started wearing her hair down, I got scared of her, too.
Senior and Ma Shag apparently hopped all the way back to the dorm to reattach his leg. Except Ma now has other ideas. "Maybe we should leave it off," she says seductively. Senior Shag's face lights up, and he lovingly tickles his wife. They giggle. And that is the hottest action Shaggy's bed has ever seen.
Shaggy returns to his table, seeing only Heath there. "My parents left already?" he wonders, perplexed. "They left before you played," Heath says gently. Shaggy is silent. But just when I worried that this would suddenly be about a boy and his crushed spirit, Shaggy heaves an enormous sigh of relief and hugs Heath. "Oh, man, that's awesome!" he breathes, collapsing in a chair. "I'll tell them at Easter. Easter's better." Heath snickers. Mmm, Snickers.
The next morning, Amanda is walking out the door with Heath when Ron gingerly appears in the Frosh Pit. With one glance, Amanda dismisses Heath, who carries her luggage down the hall. "Ron, if you didn't want to go through with it, you should have said something," she sighs, a bit wounded. Ron stammers that he so badly wanted to do it, but chickened out because he, too, is a virgin, and was scared of messing up the sex. "No matter what, it'd be the best we'd ever had!" she argues, half-laughing. Ron freezes. He is not happy with himself. "I didn't look at that side," he admits, mentally kicking his own ass. "Wow." He asks her to catch a red-eye, suddenly figuring he'd be pretty decent at sex, but her flight is non-refundable, and Amanda leaves UNEC completely chaste.
So Ron bolts to find Steven, who is giggling with Rachel and Lizzie. They invite Ron out to celebrate the end of Parents' Weekend, but he hurriedly insists he just needs Maxim immediately. Steven directs him to it, and the gang giggles at Ron's sexual desperation.