Ahem. Sorry for the digression. As Shaggy introduces his Beck poster, "Mixed Bizness" plays in the background, which I call "The Heather Song" because it's the only one I know that uses my name -- oh, and look, I gave away my real name. Damn, and the alias was so clever, too. Right. Senior Shag snorts that he wonders if Beck does his own makeup. "He looks like Barbara Mandrell," he laughs. Ron smiles politely. Ma Shag enjoys Beck's "sparkly" look. "Ronnie, can you help me get these old dogs off?" asks Senior Shag, holding up his foot. Weirded out, Ron nevertheless complies, grabbing the shoe and pulling. "Just give it a good, hard yank," S.S. says, which probably distracts Ron and reminds him that Eliza's waiting under his pillow. With one massive tug, Senior Shag's prosthetic leg comes off, and Ron and the limb fly backward and land against the bed. Ron shouts, startled, before he realizes that he's been played. Shaggy and Ma Shag are doubled over with laughter. "Love it!" Shaggy snickers. "I miss that!"
A tall, pointy-but-cute blonde trots into the Frosh Pit with Heath in tow. She teases him about his messy hair and exclaims over the wonder of their suite. "It's bigger than our house!" she gushes. She is Heath's sister Amanda, and she's played by Kimberly Stewart, daughter of rockin' Rod. At first, before I looked up her lineage, I was tempted to make a really snide comment about her crappy fake accent. But maybe it sounds weird because she's lived in the States for a while. I don't know. I will say that it's odd having her play Heath's sister, given that their inflections indicate that they're from completely different parts of England. Ron sidles out of his room timidly, and Amanda brightens when she sees him. "Oh my God, it's you!" she squeals, running over and hugging him. "I just thought you were this little voice on the phone!" Heath is entertained that they've been flirting, and sarcastically asks if Ron mentioned all his sensitive traits, like how much he loves reading. "Shut up, poppet," she says affectionately, and completely awkwardly. Amanda then turns her attention back to Ron, asking about his girlfriend. "We, uh, we, uh, started...decided to see other people," Ron stammers as Heath watches with a knowing smirk. If Ron had ever been with a girl, Heath would've picked up the scent. Amanda is aghast at the tragedy of it all. She then asks him to take her on a tour of campus while Heath is in class. "Good luck, Ron," Heath chuckles.
Rachel's room is the picture of chastity, all stuffed animals and calm reading and angelic faces. Any mother worth her title would immediately identify this as a cover for a den of sin, like those old mafia restaurants where the tables flip from casino games to regular dinner place-settings whenever the police show up. Rachel's mother is played by Mary Kay Place, recently brilliant in Being John Malkovich. Mary asks what they do with their free time. "A lot of studying," Lizzie smiles. Rachel, leaning up against her reading pillow, concurs, throwing out words like "library" and "books" and "reading" as if she's actually intimate with them. "What about boyfriends?" prods Mary. Rachel wishes she had time for one. "You know that teacher you were so fond of? He's getting out of jail just about now!" Mary chirps. Rachel is indignant. "Mom, he was an SAT tutor and he is not in jail!" she protests. "I'm kidding!" Mary says. "Mom's funny!" Lizzie is uncomfortable. Mary shoos them out so she can freshen up before they eat.