Ron and Amanda stroll pleasantly across campus, she energetically explaining to him a dream she just had about a bear in the forest that took her virginity. "A bear?" he asks, confused and slightly aroused by the bestial sensuality of it all. "A bear of a man," she clarifies. "Oh, man-bear, yeah," Ron nods. He's into the hyphenates. First it was man-prostitute, now man-bear. I like it. Amanda dreamily describes the sweet and magical connection they shared, then informs a clueless Ron that she thinks he is the man-bear destined to rid her of the shackles of chastity. Ron manages to remain conscious and standing, but faints dead away inside.
Later, Ron storms into the men's bathroom. Hearing light guitar music, he throws back a shower curtain to reveal Shaggy. "God, you scared me!" Shaggy panics, peeking around nervously to make sure the coast is still clear. "Get in here," he whispers, dragging Ron into the stall and pulling the curtain around his guitar, as if it will swallow his instrument and make it look like two men in one shower are having a completely innocent, music-free conversation. I love that he didn't just draw the curtain again. Ron hurriedly explains that Amanda wants him to sleep with her; Shaggy listens absently, still worried Senior Shag will appear for a whiz break. Ron is terrified of the pressure, certain it will be lousy sex and Amanda will go back to Britain and turn the name "Ron" into a synonym for "crappy lay." Ron imitates, "'Hey, how was your shag?' 'Oh, I got Ronned, he Ronned me, it was terrible!'" Pity Shaggy isn't Marshall's real name -- in that situation, "Shaggy" makes him sound like an expert. Shaggy is trying to understand Ron's anxiety, but can't.
Hal and Debra start arguing in Steven's room while he waits outside with Ma Shag. Debra, rationalizing her decision to leave Hal, points out that she was deliriously happy for two months and then grew miserable again the second she laid eyes on Hal. "I'd be happy too, if I could run around Europe in a pair of pants, shorts, short pants, or whatever the hell those things are," seethes Hal. She's wearing some hideous floral capris -- I'd be miserable in Europe wearing those. Debra thinks he should give her a break. "What's the matter, does that bother you?" he yells. "Are you feeling dead inside or something?" Ooooh! That smell? Is Debra being burned. In the Frosh Pit, Steven hears every word and winces, while Ma Shag's toothy grin remains firmly in place. "I'm really sorry about this," he offers. "Oh, honey, it's okay," she Wisconsins. "You should hear [Senior Shag] and me go on about the silliest things! It's really very normal." She gives the ultimate knowing nod. Steven's grateful.