After the commercial, the new quartet of guys shuffles toward the Frosh Pit, only to spot a gaggle of giggling girls skipping away from it, carrying tons of bags. Lizzie is among them. She's patented a way of running that makes her ponytail flick from side to side with the precision of a metronome. The guys are completely astounded, never having had so many girls in their room -- nay, in their presence -- since arriving. "Are there more in our room?" Shaggy asks hopefully. "You think?"

The guys enter the room, though, and it's empty but for the obscene abundance of streamers and balloons. The Union Jack, ripped from Heath's door, is draped over the shoulders of a huge cardboard cutout of The Rock. Good thing the Brits don't have flag-desecration rules like we do, although if I were that flag, I'd be damn happy with the current situation. Heath's angry, though. Ron laughs at the decorations. Perry's startled that Theta Delta Zeta -- "more like 'Theta Delta Dorka'" -- is infiltrating their lives. "I cannot believe Steven is joining those guys," he continues. "That kid could not become a bigger dork if he went on the road following the Dave Matthews Band." Shaggy looks hurt by this, and a tad guilty. I glance over at the three early Dave Matthews albums I own and cringe a little inside. Perry swears Steven will be unrecognizable by the time he's done pledging -- which is a six-week process. "Once he's in, he's a brotha for life," Perry says, going totally homeboy for that last bit, complete with a stereotypical gangsta gesture. Shaggy mutters that he likes the Dave Matthews Band. Me too, Shag. You're not alone. Perry makes a snarky remark to the effect that Shaggy should try to catch up with the band on its tour. It was mean. Perry's supposed to be the Steven, isn't he? Then why does he already have the upper hand on Shaggy? The guys determine that they have eleven minutes before Steven's pledging ceremony, and vow to stop him. "Grab your fishing poles, boys," Heath Americans. "We're gonna catch us some Karp."